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Author Topic: new issues - did i do the right thing by not quitting?  (Read 6653 times)

Offline Steelpulz

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Re: new issues - did i do the right thing by not quitting?
« Reply #40 on: February 19, 2010, 06:05:31 PM »
Funny. I thought I was the only one living in that world. Glad to have your company. :)
I'm still an optimist, but I have found that no good deed goes unpunished.
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Offline SavnBass

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Re: new issues - did i do the right thing by not quitting?
« Reply #41 on: February 20, 2010, 12:10:14 AM »
Wow... y'see this is where my grand daddy's old saying about "boy don't let nobody p*** on you and call it rain" comes into full effect.. I didn't even read the responses to this yet.. just the initial post... and I am like

... YIKES!!!! :o

My hat's off to you.. and the fact that you were able to keep your cool. You are right to not take it out on the other bass player... HOWEVER he should be sensitive to the situation.. as I am sure you would be if you were in his shoes ....

Ok... and now that I have read the rest of the thread... my answer to "Did I do the right thing by not quitting?" is... that is entirely up to you... but I will say you are not supposed to be feeling bad playing music.. especially when your heart is in it for the kingdom..  and from my vantage point... if people would be that inconsiderate.. especially in light of your dedication (making rehearsals, learning the songs etc..) kind of reminds me of Mt 7:6.
Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.

Offline DWBass

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Re: new issues - did i do the right thing by not quitting?
« Reply #42 on: February 20, 2010, 11:15:27 AM »
This whole deal reminds of the days when I played tournament level softball. For local league and tournaments, us totally dedicated players were always there at practices and all games but whenever there was an out of town, big time tourney, at least 4-5 ringers would be there and we'd always be on the bench! I dealt with it for 6 years before I decided I had had enough! Me and the few other guys left and not soon after, the team started to go downhill and eventually ceased to exist! Hard work and dedication went out the window when it came to wanting the prize! It didn't matter since we were 90% outclassed at any tourney we entered anyway so why pay to fly guys in when you're gonna lose anyway!

I don't understand the need for another bass player! Do you know the material and play it well? Does the band as a whole know all the material and play it well? What is their reasoning? Nothing seems especially clear!! Unless I missed a post somewhere.
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Offline floaded27

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Re: new issues - did i do the right thing by not quitting?
« Reply #43 on: February 22, 2010, 11:09:24 PM »
well i prayed about it some more and made the decision to stay. a lot of stuff has been misunderstandings and miscommunication.

the president called me today and we talked for about a half hour and clarified some things. i told her how i felt what was done and she told me what happened. i expressed that i wasnt sure if i was gonna quit or not.

so it bothered me for the day not knowing what i was going to do (was going to the rehearsal anyway:either to stay or to take my equipment home). so i passed up my gym time during my lunch break and sat in Central Park and just meditated on God seeking an answer.

I had some things that i wanted to make sure i expressed, and i talked to her some more once i got to the rehearsal. i decided to stay and play during the rehearsal. even the other bass player that left was there and things were clear with him as well. and things were cool once again.


Lessons learned:
1. I have to think with the scientific/engineering mind God gave me: if there is a problem i must FIRST verify ALL assumptions! i cant take any information for granted in making a conclusion or decision.
2. I was correct in the thought that me walking out last time would have been seen as "the whiny musician is mad because he cant have it his way" (that stigma about musicians totally exists), so I was right in being mindful of my actions and must continue to do so.
For my God... let "Golden Axe" prevail.

Offline under13

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Re: new issues - did i do the right thing by not quitting?
« Reply #44 on: February 22, 2010, 11:17:54 PM »
So are you playing at the musical?

Offline ddwilkins

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Re: new issues - did i do the right thing by not quitting?
« Reply #45 on: February 23, 2010, 07:54:27 AM »
....2. I was correct in the thought that me walking out last time would have been seen as "the whiny musician is mad because he cant have it his way" (that stigma about musicians totally exists), so I was right in being mindful of my actions and must continue to do so.


I'm glad you finally got a chance to express your feelings to the president. On your last thought though, IMO, that is not 100% true. You should always stand up for what you feel and if you felt that you were disrespected or not appreciated, you could have easily walked out with a smile. Yes there are some whiny musicians, but no one is going to walk over me. BTW, I commend you for handling yourself in a controlled manner.
Keep God first and he'll do the rest!!!

Offline floaded27

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Re: new issues - did i do the right thing by not quitting?
« Reply #46 on: February 23, 2010, 11:15:59 AM »
So are you playing at the musical?

yes. all that other stuff was misunderstandings and miscommunication. The DW thing was that they were doing a musical tribute to Timothy Wright, and he would be playing for that part only with David playing the organ. They have nothing to do with what else is going on that night. This could in no way shape or form be understood from the text, and with what the situation was, the mention of that without any clarification only added more confusion. So going forward i have to be mindful to get clarification on anything thats said/done/etc before i make any judgments or conclusions.

On your last thought though, IMO, that is not 100% true. You should always stand up for what you feel and if you felt that you were disrespected or not appreciated, you could have easily walked out with a smile. Yes there are some whiny musicians, but no one is going to walk over me. BTW, I commend you for handling yourself in a controlled manner.

during the conversation, it was mentioned about instances of other people who wanted to be the exclusive this or that and not let anybody else get a chance. So that was automatically the thought process. I had to clarify that this wasnt the case here and state the reasoning behind why i was upset and hurt. So I agree to stand up for what I feel, but if i had just walked out, never came back and never discussed what happened, that wouldve been the conclusion made. which is why i felt i needed to be mindful of what action i wouldve chosen to take.
For my God... let "Golden Axe" prevail.

Offline cordney

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Re: new issues - did i do the right thing by not quitting?
« Reply #47 on: February 23, 2010, 11:30:13 AM »
What songs are you guys singing?
‎"It is okay to fail, it is unacceptable to become a failure"

Offline jeremyr

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Re: new issues - did i do the right thing by not quitting?
« Reply #48 on: February 23, 2010, 12:08:09 PM »
you sir have alot of patience. 

To me it sounds like they're still walking all over you and using you regardless of how "nice" they sounded. 

I would've politely said "thanks, but no thanks" and bowed out of that wretched situation.

Good luck to you though.  I pray all goes well while you're still with them.

Somebody put me in the key of E#

Offline ddwilkins

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Re: new issues - did i do the right thing by not quitting?
« Reply #49 on: February 23, 2010, 12:15:58 PM »
you sir have alot of patience. 

To me it sounds like they're still walking all over you and using you regardless of how "nice" they sounded. 

I would've politely said "thanks, but no thanks" and bowed out of that wretched situation.

Good luck to you though.  I pray all goes well while you're still with them.



+1
Keep God first and he'll do the rest!!!

Offline floaded27

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Re: new issues - did i do the right thing by not quitting?
« Reply #50 on: February 23, 2010, 12:39:33 PM »
What songs are you guys singing?
i wouldnt even be able to tell u right now. some of these songs i never heard of, some i have, but may not know who its by. some new stuff, some old stuff (there are a lot of older saints in the mix). i dont know what the official list for the musical, but the choir has to sing every night, from Tuesday to Saturday with Monday being the musical, so rehearsal has been comprising of all material planned on being done sometime during the course of the week.

off hand i can say
My Soul Says Yes
His Mercy Endureth Forever - Richard Smallwood
One More Chance - Ricky Dillard
Overflow (old-time church type song)

thats all i can think of off the top of my head since we did those in rehearsal last night. some of the songs im not familiar with so i dont know names or who its by. i'll be here listing songs out by the bass notes. lol.
For my God... let "Golden Axe" prevail.

Offline Mysteryman

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Re: new issues - did i do the right thing by not quitting?
« Reply #51 on: February 24, 2010, 09:20:03 AM »
you sir have alot of patience. 

To me it sounds like they're still walking all over you and using you regardless of how "nice" they sounded. 

I would've politely said "thanks, but no thanks" and bowed out of that wretched situation.

Good luck to you though.  I pray all goes well while you're still with them.


:D I've been there and know exactly what you mean but only he knows and time will tell the truth.
Vision without action is just day dreaming. I miss practicing.

Offline jeremyr

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Re: new issues - did i do the right thing by not quitting?
« Reply #52 on: February 24, 2010, 09:31:05 AM »
:D I've been there and know exactly what you mean but only he knows and time will tell the truth.
I think the part that kills me is that the songs that have been mentioned so far aren't even complex, so there is no need to have more than 1 bass player.
Somebody put me in the key of E#

Offline ddwilkins

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Re: new issues - did i do the right thing by not quitting?
« Reply #53 on: February 24, 2010, 09:47:48 AM »
For me, its not the songs, but the way business has taken place in this situation. My question is, what will happen next year?
Keep God first and he'll do the rest!!!

Offline Mysteryman

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Re: new issues - did i do the right thing by not quitting?
« Reply #54 on: February 24, 2010, 10:44:29 AM »
I've learned from experience that when you have a true relationship with God, the same people that criticize you and play like they are getting over on you will always come back because they need you at some point. It never fails.  :)
Vision without action is just day dreaming. I miss practicing.

Offline Torch7

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Re: new issues - did i do the right thing by not quitting?
« Reply #55 on: February 24, 2010, 11:10:27 AM »
Hey man once again I want to say, you are coming out of this situation victorious.

According to 2 Peter 1:1-9  You are adding qualities to your faith, that many believers won't
realize because they are busy protecting self.  Paying special attention to verses 5 - 7, how many
of these things could you apply to this trial? 

God is taking you somewhere brother, take courage in that.

Where is he taking him some might ask, with a cynical tone?

2 Peter 1:8,9 Amplified
8 For as these qualities are yours and increasingly abound in you, they will keep [you] from being idle or unfruitful unto the [[g]full personal] knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One).

9 For whoever lacks these qualities is blind, [[h]spiritually] shortsighted, seeing only what is near to him, and has become oblivious [to the fact] that he was cleansed from his old sins.

Unfortunately, our human nature resists these things, and wants to kick against the ways that God develops our Character.

I am glad that you arrived at a decision.   Especially since from your post the Lord gave you peace concerning the situation. 

Offline floaded27

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Re: new issues - did i do the right thing by not quitting?
« Reply #56 on: February 24, 2010, 11:52:26 AM »
I think the part that kills me is that the songs that have been mentioned so far aren't even complex, so there is no need to have more than 1 bass player.

there are several reasons for having more than one musician on all the instruments


some of THEIR reasons for having more than one bass player

part of it is because its the jurisdiction (comprised of at least 150 churches all across the state), even in the music dept, the bishop wants to have more people from the local churches involved. so that means there has to be some sort of rotation going on. but unlike other areas, like choir members, too many people in rotation as musicians diminishes the effective use of their time. this is what i did have to explain. but this is not a lifetime gig, so as time goes on, people may go on to other things leaving areas to fill.

also since this is a week long series of services, everybody may not be able to make it every night (people do have jobs, families, etc), so u do need multiple people in place at times.

well one thing that i figured was happening was that my skills were underestimated because of the way i played. I came there strictly to learn, not to get shine, not to show off, not to prove anything to anybody. So taking that receptive, humble spirit, especially one of learning changes how you play. Everybody else new that comes there, as soon as the music starts (even if they dont know the song) they start going off (drummers, organists, keyboardists, bass players) as if to say "i gotta show everybody that im niiiiice". Because I didnt do that it was interpreted as not being skilled or lack of confidence, rather than just wanting to learn.

I explained it like this. If you want to take a class to learn more about something, when the class starts are u gonna just start going full blast telling the teacher what you know? or are you going to pay attention, be receptive and take what they are telling you and as you go on, they'll know how knowledgeable you are.

some of MY reasons

Also a weak point of mine is hymns. We just dont do them at MY church, and the ones i do know, often times I have to learn them all over again because they are played entirely different (partly because the organist at my church butchers them) and i often find myself listening rather than playing, as im trying to find the progression amidst the 700 chord changes that every organist seems to feel the need to squeeze in.

And also because there's a rotation of organists and keyboardists going on, playing with each person just isnt the same and sometimes u have to adjust (which is already an adjustment from how i normally play at my church), which may not be an issue for any of you guys here, but is an issue for me right now, which is partly why i joined. so i can get accustomed to playing with other COMPETENT musicians.

so it does help at times to be able to have someone else to swap out with.
For my God... let "Golden Axe" prevail.

Offline floaded27

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Re: new issues - did i do the right thing by not quitting?
« Reply #57 on: February 24, 2010, 12:02:50 PM »
Hey man once again I want to say, you are coming out of this situation victorious.

According to 2 Peter 1:1-9  You are adding qualities to your faith, that many believers won't
realize because they are busy protecting self.  Paying special attention to verses 5 - 7, how many
of these things could you apply to this trial? 

God is taking you somewhere brother, take courage in that.

Where is he taking him some might ask, with a cynical tone?

2 Peter 1:8,9 Amplified
8 For as these qualities are yours and increasingly abound in you, they will keep [you] from being idle or unfruitful unto the [[g]full personal] knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One).

9 For whoever lacks these qualities is blind, [[h]spiritually] shortsighted, seeing only what is near to him, and has become oblivious [to the fact] that he was cleansed from his old sins.

Unfortunately, our human nature resists these things, and wants to kick against the ways that God develops our Character.

I am glad that you arrived at a decision.   Especially since from your post the Lord gave you peace concerning the situation. 



i think a large part of this situation (and probably the reason it even existed) is to deal with some issues and difficulties ive been having spiritually. so dealing with this situation i've been praying more, reading scripture, and i even sat in the middle of the park for an hour on a cold day seeking God. just to make a decision! something that i wouldnt have done if i had this problem last year. so in a situation where its like really, who cares if i play or not, its fostering actions that i will need when it comes time for a situation that DOES matter.

and i think this is something that i initially didnt see. thinking it was strictly a musical thing, and although some people may think it is, its NOT. and i think this is something that happens and a necessary process when you tell God you want to be MORE than just a musician. because whether i accomplish what God wants and needs me to do isnt dependent on what bass i play or what rig im playing through, but rather on where my relationship is with Him, and i think this whole thing put me in a new place regarding that.
For my God... let "Golden Axe" prevail.

Offline ddwilkins

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Re: new issues - did i do the right thing by not quitting?
« Reply #58 on: February 24, 2010, 12:06:16 PM »
Not to be knocking your denomination or anyone else's, but I'm glad to be non-denominational so that I don't have to go through this stuff here.
Keep God first and he'll do the rest!!!

Offline floaded27

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Re: new issues - did i do the right thing by not quitting?
« Reply #59 on: February 24, 2010, 12:48:15 PM »
Not to be knocking your denomination or anyone else's, but I'm glad to be non-denominational so that I don't have to go through this stuff here.
not sure what this has to do with denomination. what is done in our jurisdiction (and you dont have to participate on the jurisdictional level) isnt necessarily done in others. it mostly depends on leadership and their vision for things.

everything u get into whether church/work/etc is gonna have elements you dont like or agree with. its just that i find this as the best avenue to work with other skilled musicians on a regular basis, without being subject to the questionable stuff in other musical circles floating around here and without doing the whole "shed" thing (cause that ends up as just a bunch of people trying to show off for others, rather than the musical collaboration and creative environment it SHOULD be)
For my God... let "Golden Axe" prevail.
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