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Author Topic: Appropriate attire for choir members - need feedback - What would you do?  (Read 4045 times)

Offline Verger301

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Hello All, I need your opinion on this one.

Our church had to fellowship with another church this past week.  Everyone choir member was notifed and they came out.  While sitting in the pews I noticed the Choir President who had on a sleeveless top and flip flops.  I felt this was not appropriate dress when a choir goes out to sing.  We just came off of the church wide summer dress down season and now its time to swtich back to regular attire ( says the Pastor). The problem with her top was that fact that she has this huge tattoo on her arm thats very big and its a distraction when singing praise and worship or singing in a choir.  I did confront her about it and her response was that she didnt have any clothes.  I was taken by surprise.  IS she really for real? I asked her did she have any shoes, she said, NO only flip flops.  I responded what about in the winter time?  SHe said she wears flip flops.    Of  course I felt she was lying about not having clothes but I gave the benefit of the doubt becasue I didnt want to come to conclusions because some folks honestly dont have much. Then I was told one of the Ministers gave her plenty of clothes to wear last year sometime.   Yesterday morning during Morning Worship this mother of 5 had on a nice shirt and high heels and after service complained that her feet were hurting.  I told her most women in the office I see bring tennis shoes or something comfortable if they need to change shoes.  So she went home and came back for the evening service with ---GUESS..... FLIPS FLOPS and a tank top... I am at the point where this lady needs to be sat down and not lead anyone at anytime.. I spoke to the Pastor and told him this is so embarrasing to have a leader, choir member, praise and worship team member dress in such a sloppy manner. He shook his head and responded she always has issues.  How would you all handle this?

Offline under13

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Re: Appropriate attire for choir members - need feedback - What would you do?
« Reply #1 on: September 27, 2010, 01:45:09 PM »
You should keep a record of all of her infractions so that when you have to sit her down you can show the Pastor everything she has done. Then make her fully aware that you will not allow her to minister until she is properly dressed.

Offline syddie

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Maybe you could establish a general choir dress code.  Give all of your choir members copies of the dress code (with appropriate and inappropriate items listed).  Make it clear to all choir members that this new dress code is the standard and nothing less will be tolerated.

Offline cordney

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Hello All, I need your opinion on this one.

Our church had to fellowship with another church this past week.  Everyone choir member was notifed and they came out.  While sitting in the pews I noticed the Choir President who had on a sleeveless top and flip flops.  I felt this was not appropriate dress when a choir goes out to sing.  We just came off of the church wide summer dress down season and now its time to swtich back to regular attire ( says the Pastor). The problem with her top was that fact that she has this huge tattoo on her arm thats very big and its a distraction when singing praise and worship or singing in a choir.  I did confront her about it and her response was that she didnt have any clothes.  I was taken by surprise.  IS she really for real? I asked her did she have any shoes, she said, NO only flip flops.  I responded what about in the winter time?  SHe said she wears flip flops.    Of  course I felt she was lying about not having clothes but I gave the benefit of the doubt becasue I didnt want to come to conclusions because some folks honestly dont have much. Then I was told one of the Ministers gave her plenty of clothes to wear last year sometime.   Yesterday morning during Morning Worship this mother of 5 had on a nice shirt and high heels and after service complained that her feet were hurting.  I told her most women in the office I see bring tennis shoes or something comfortable if they need to change shoes.  So she went home and came back for the evening service with ---GUESS..... FLIPS FLOPS and a tank top... I am at the point where this lady needs to be sat down and not lead anyone at anytime.. I spoke to the Pastor and told him this is so embarrasing to have a leader, choir member, praise and worship team member dress in such a sloppy manner. He shook his head and responded she always has issues.  How would you all handle this?


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Offline DirectingOrganist

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If you are in a position to sit her down, do it. Especially if you've already talked to her.
Seek His Face, Not His Hand!

Offline sonicfoxbody

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There's several ways this could go. Personally, I've never heard anyone say that tat's are a distraction and shouldn't be a reason to sit any one down. I have some myself, when I wear short sleeve shirts. They are visible NEVER has anyone said anything about them. If she wasn't informed of a particular dress code for singing and showed up wearing what she's wearing what's the big deal? You stated your church has been on a 'summer dress down' implying that everyone has been dressing casual for however long, then she shows up casual? okkkkay??? You know why the majority of church members steer away from the church? Because they've felt uncomfortable at some point (i.e. backstabbers, people talking down to them, being hurt by fellow members and in this case getting questioned about their attire).

You have a problem with the fact that she has a tattoo, you said so yourself. If she didn't have a tattoo would you still be tripping? I'm glad I'm not a part of a judgmental congregation and I thank God for it.....

 
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