Sorry about this verbose post which is "all about me", but think I need a reality check.
I am a musician on our Praise Team, and also direct our small choir, so I run choir rehearsals, but am under the authority of our Praise Team leader, who oversees the music ministry.
Lately I have been feeling better and stronger physically, but not mentally: am worrying, especially about my role in our smaller church. Know that's wrong, but it seems that more and more I let the opinions of others get to me. The compliments wash right over, but recently our Praise Team leader has said a couple of things that bother me:
About 2 weeks ago: Talked about musicians in LA who went from playing at one service to another at different churches for money, then complained about people who "constantly remind me that they are volunteers". To my knowledge, no one on our team has that kind of attitude. We all know that we are servants, with no expectation of pay. Almost asked about this, but thought better of it.
Last Rehearsal: At the end, said we should remember that "it's a privilege to serve on the Praise Team". Then warned us about pride and attitude. Then turned to me and commented that some in the choir suffer from this. Our present Praise team has the least amount of ego and drama I have ever seen - why would a leader say something like this? It seemed almost designed to cause dissension, suspicion and drama among us.
Again, wanted to say something, but held back - didn't want to get into a big argument right before Bible Study. These remarks might have some truth, but to me it came off as critical and condescending.
On reflection, I considered that with the choir, I considered it MY privilege to have them sing and come to rehearsals, no matter if they are great singers or 'clunkers' - they are all volunteers, and many are involved in other ministries. I can't control what choir members do or think; do try to instill the truth that we are doing this as a ministry to the Lord and to others, as a team rather than a bunch of divas.
So am I being too sensitive about this? Is my depression coming back? Should I get help?
Or are we being treated unfairly?
Feel I don't have anyone at church to discuss this with dispassionately...
Poll
