Another issue that is not taught much . . . but really needs to be addressed . . . is the issue of blended families.
Some great advice has been given here about involving children in relationships, and getting into relationships with people who already have a child by another person. But let me throw in another aspect that is usually not shared. This is different for different people, and like other things that have been posted, doesn't apply to everyone.
Many times people are not in faith, but in fantasy. Faith grows in a person's spirit and heart as they learn the Word of GOD . . . ALL OF IT. Faith changes the present situation into the reality that GOD has for His people. On the other hand, fantasy is just grabbing at straws, refusing to acknowledge personal responsibility for mistakes and sins, and getting angry when anyone brings truth to the table. Fantasy is a country club . . . to stay in fantasy, you have to find others who are willing to pretend and play with you; talking and dreaming but never really going anywhere.
As another poster said, people can go through great lengths just to start a new life with another person. This may include trying to cut the child's biological father or mother out of the picture. They want a fresh start with nothing to interrupt their new life. Fantasy. Again, this isn't everyone . . . but it is quite a few people.
That is not fair to the child. The child has a right to get to know and become close with their biological father. As close as the child and the new man in the mother's life may become (and that is beautiful) the child still has the right to know who their real father is . . . unless of course that relationship would place the child in some type of hazard.
Abraham had a blended family. Isaac by Sarah, and Ishmael by Hagar. He wanted to just hope for the best, but Sarah saw danger for Isaac and she insisted that Abraham deal with the situation. Abraham was grieved for Ishmael, but when he prayed GOD told him to listen to Sarah.
Now, I am not saying that presnt issues should be settled how they settled issues back then. But blended families can present some challenges . . . challenges that many times are just ignored until disaster strikes. Sometimes people just want to wipe the slate clean and pretend that other people aren't in the picture. That may kinda work for a while . . . especially if one parent doesn't have any contact with the child or the child's family. But if the child's parent wants to be in the picture . . . the clean slate approach doesn't always work.
As a Bible teacher who has done some counseling with folks I know what I am talking about. Many times this is simply not taught . . . people are just waiting for someone to pop out of thin air and make everything alright. However, it is not that simple . . . that is fantasy, not faith. The welfare and emotions of a child are now center stage.
Many times we are ready for the challenges of blended families because these issues have not been taught.
Be Blessed, everyone
