Married Men w/o the wedding band......hmmmm

[nessalynn77]

Sorry daughter. I forgot my kids were in the room. LOL! 

It's all good MamaT, I think I'm getting used to it...

[LyricTenor]

It's all good MamaT, I think I'm getting used to it...

Uh Oh.  Know what that means?  Nessa's hubby's in TROUBLE!!

*moves expeditiously in the direction of the LGM Bomb Shelter to "find his keys"*   

[MissRiss]

RING OR NOT

THE MAN ( HUsband)  should establish clear boundaries. That is what causes problems not ring or no ring.

I do not wear my ring at church often, but I do wear it at the office just because it does help ( not in all cases cause you got hoes everywhere)  to keep down some of the corporate mess you ahve to deal with at times.

But more than anything clear boundaries have been my best weapon and clear indication of my committment to my wife.

For me, the ring signifies just what you said about the office..you know where everything stands....when you know something is off limits, you go the other way. Some married men do a lot of flirting if we are going to be honest. Once I see that ring, I'm like that's a shame because you are married and have no business doing what you are doing. That's why I want to see a ring. That way I know I have no business talking to him about certain things...only as a brother in Christ.  I'm coming from a Single Christian woman's point of view. I'm talking about my experience......and no I'm not running after married men..... It's the man that finds the wife.

[Nakia518]

Ring or no ring... I know a married man when I see one... and they are just as flirty and forthcoming as the single men...

Me being single find this frustrating and applauding because you KNOW what you are doing... and We being the single woman are innocent bystanders...

Now dont get me wrong there are women out there who want to be with a married men and want that challenge of trying to take them from their wives... But that aint nothing but (as my boy Brad so eloquently stated) a HOMEWRECKER!!!! and they dont even want the man they just want to get them from their wife...

As for the married men who dont wear your ring... Do you... But make sure that it is out in the air that you are attached... Like I said... I can spot them and try my BEST to avoid them like the Plague... But it not hard to avoid a married man who has no respect for his wife... because if he did... he wouldnt be tryna hook up with someone else with no regard for their wife...

[sjonathan02]

For me, the ring signifies just what you said about the office..you know where everything stands....when you know something is off limits, you go the other way. Some married men do a lot of flirting if we are going to be honest. Once I see that ring, I'm like that's a shame because you are married and have no business doing what you are doing. That's why I want to see a ring. That way I know I have no business talking to him about certain things...only as a brother in Christ.  I'm coming from a Single Christian woman's point of view. I'm talking about my experience......and no I'm not running after married men..... It's the man that finds the wife.

 


*walks away whistling Prince's new theme song*

[THE WOLFMAN]

UHM, shouldnt a lady talk to all men line that?

[sjonathan02]

UHM, shouldnt a lady talk to all men line that?

And, what I'd love to know is why is that when a brotha gets married he HAS to cut out any thought of having a female as a friend, sista in Christ, whatever? 

[Keys410]

I thank the lord I am single...I will tell her right off top don't let the ring justify our love...Cause I have lost 3 rings in the last year...

[B_XALTED]

In my opinion,  eventhough the wedding ring is not a distinctive Christian symbol, like the cross, the never ending circle of the wedding
symbolizes the never ending love  and faithfulness of that union.

Not wearing a wedding ring doesnt make you any less married than not carrying a bible makes you less of a Christian. I agree with SisterT that The man has to be the one that says NO... There are women out there that could care less about the man being married, and will make a move on a married man ring or no ring... but the man has to put the stop to the sitation and say that they are married, and not interested in the other woman.

I think the ring is just a symbol of marriage, and dedication and loyalty to a man or woman... I cant say whether I would be mad if my husband lost his ring.... But I know I would be disturbed if he didnt wear it just because he wasnt comfortable wearing it..... That makes a different statement.

[J31]

And, what I'd love to know is why is that when a brotha gets married he HAS to cut out any thought of having a female as a friend, sista in Christ, whatever? 

You Don't just make sure those women know who your priority is and......make a note of this" Some of them will change up on you and you will be like Huh"

Also naturally you will begin to spend a significant amount of time with your wife and that will create distance but as I said, those friends should understand that. I think..wait let me re phrase that " I am finding in my own marriage that we needed a few years of just me and her" and now we are gradually going back out into the " public" but as a couple so we both spend a lot of time hanging our with each other's friends reestablishing the connection between "us" and them.

So women call me all the time and when I say who it is, my wife has her own frame of reference and they are no longer "women" calling. She says " oh,tell Janet I said hello"   or it is " tell your wife I said hi" or " let me talk to her for a minute" and I pass the phone.

[sjonathan02]

You Don't just make sure those women know who your priority is and......make a note of this" Some of them will change up on you and you will be like Huh"

Also naturally you will begin to spend a significant amount of time with your wife and that will create distance but as I said, those friends should understand that. I think..wait let me re phrase that " I am finding in my own marriage that we needed a few years of just me and her" and now we are gradually going back out into the " public" but as a couple so we both spend a lot of time hanging our with each other's friends reestablishing the connection between "us" and them.

So women call me all the time and when I say who it is, my wife has her own frame of reference and they are no longer "women" calling. She says " oh,tell Janet I said hello"   or it is " tell your wife I said hi" or " let me talk to her for a minute" and I pass the phone.

I've gotcha. always did. it wasn't necessarily directed to you

[Nakia518]

On another note...

Sometimes it is an ego booster for a married man to be hit on... He wants to make sure that he still has "It"... That he can still pull girls... Its a sad reality... But truth...

Men love the attention from beautiful women even the unattactive ones... They... just like us... need to know from someone other than their significant other that they look good... Hearing it from their Spouse to them dont count... Cause they feel that their spouse is suppose to say that to them...

[MissRiss]

How would you feel if your wife didn't wear her wedding ring?

[changedman]

RING OR NOT

THE MAN ( HUsband)  should establish clear boundaries. That is what causes problems not ring or no ring.

I do not wear my ring at church often, but I do wear it at the office just because it does help ( not in all cases cause you got hoes everywhere)  to keep down some of the corporate mess you ahve to deal with at times.

But more than anything clear boundaries have been my best weapon and clear indication of my committment to my wife.

Doubles22, you make me die of laughter!  My rings stay in tact when I'm directing. It's my WATCH that I always keep losing in mid-air.

We have a 70-something year old Deacon who should be a football player.  He's the only one who can catch it in mid-air in the middle of "All In His Hands"!  LOL!

[beantownborn]

The responses are cool!  I thank everyone for their opinion and then some. ;-) Keep them coming!

I agree with the thinking that the ring does not justify your relationship. Married men SHOULD hold it down. But we live in a fallen world. And if all someone sees you do is walk down the street and get into your car, that's all they know about you.  They see that ring, they take a second look and want to know more.  Is your marriage falling apart like others around them or is it holding fast and true like it should.

Then they begin to take mental notes and see if we are the living testimony that God has called us to be. The fact God even trust us with the sacred institution of marriage is humbling. Is the ring biblical? No.  Truthfully, I could not go into the history of it.  But it is the evidence of marriage, the hope that there are those still true to such God and the marriage He's blessed them with.  With so many people shacking up, it's hard to tell who's married and who's not.  But if all someone sees if a man's left hand with a wedding band on it, it can make all the difference in the world.  That band does not prove that it's a God-ordained marriage but it does open the door for that couple to a witness to the observer, whether they know it or not.

You'd be surprise who's watching you.  I usually open the car door for my wife all the time.  One of my older cousins observed this and said to his mother, "Wow, he really got out and went around the car to open the door for her."  That opened the door for a conversation on respect, how to treat women, etc. 

Nakia, you're right as well.  Some men make excuses about not wearing it so they can still see if they "got it." That in of itself is an issue. Some thing they need to come to terms with.

But enough of this e-novel. Let me make room for other responses. (Was that good enough, sjonathan02?) Suffice it to say, I keep my ring on all the time.

[katstrat]

When I got married,my wife bought me a size 12 ring.I was amazed it hadn't flew off.Then one day while I was at the doctor's office,I looked down and noticed my ring was missing. So I didn't wear one until May of this year.This time I bought a size 11,and a comfort ring.Sometimes I don't even know it's there.

In a lot of professions,some men won't wear a ring,electrician,mechanic to name a few.And it's not the ring that keeps a couple together,rather than the bond between themselves.

[T-Block]

LOL!!!  Ya'll are so crazy!!

Hey, If a brother want a sister to role....let me stop. I'll just say this, my theme song to Big Daddy is "I'm Every Woman"

I'm every woman it's all in me
Anything you want done baby, I'll do it naturally
O-o-oo! 

WOW, this should be the theme song for every single married woman in the world to her husband, for real!!!

[BassAddict]

I never wear mine...my wife gave me heat at first but like its been said on the board b4 I am by no means a jewlry person, heck I dont even wear a watch, so it just feels weird when I put it on, I havent worn it since the first couple of months of us being married. I just conduct my self in the right way around ladies and act like Im married, a ring is just metal and aint gonna stop me from cheatin if I really wanted to, our bond is in my heart and that is what really matters.

[SisterT]

How would you feel if your wife didn't wear her wedding ring?

My husband didn't have a problem with it. I didn't wear a wedding ring for at least four years!!

Just as I am secure in my marriage, my husband is secure in our marriage. You got to have trust issues if you think a wedding ring is needed to stop anyone from making bad choices.

[vtguy84]

It's about the covenant that you have made....who cares about the rings. 

If you don't have the covenant, then the rings, the ceremony, reception, and honeymoon are all pointless.  My dad wears his but my mom doesn't, because she has vitiligo and her hand swells up from the treatment she takes.  However, I have never questioned if my mother loves my father, because she shows it daily.