Dude!
If this relationship is serious, you'll definitely have to work that out BEFORE you get married! Otherwise, you're in for problems!
My wife and I were on different sides at first, we were both spanked as children, but I never felt I was abused. My wife, on the other hand, didn't like spankings because she recalled her personal abuse. Now though, she's with me. We both agree, spank BEFORE you get angry, not during or after. Some parents will let things build up until they explode on the kids.
I do believe in alternate forms of discipline too. The method of correction varies depending on what our children did and the time/location they did it.
With all that said, we make sure that we SHOW them more love than correction. I always take time to play with my kids and read to them. We do experiments and walk together. But somedays....it just seems like they do one thing after another.