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Author Topic: Child Discipline Questions  (Read 3455 times)

Offline jgause2

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Child Discipline Questions
« on: April 03, 2008, 07:24:37 AM »
So i was sitting with my sig. other last night watching Tyler Perry's House of Payne...and part of the show was discussing child discipline, which sparked up an interesting conversation about how we should discipline our children, or what techniques we should use.  I for one am a believer in "spare the rod, spoil the child".  If I have to ask a child to do something more than two or three times and he/she doesn't do it, then we have a problem.  But to her, she prefers not to PERIOD!  Doing so would be a LAST resort. 


So just seeking opinions, here's a few questions:

1.  Do you believe in Prov 13:24 (Spare the rod, spoil the child)?  Do you believe it works (If done the RIGHT way?)

2.  Do you believe there are alternate ways of disciplining the child without using spankings?

3.  Do you think it's better to use those "alternate ways" instead of spanking?




God Bless!

J.
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Offline keptbyJesus

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Re: Child Discipline Questions
« Reply #1 on: April 03, 2008, 07:37:43 AM »
I'm gone say this, I a firm beleiver in whoopings!! Not saying that everything warrents one, but it depends on the situation, sometimes a good talking to works, others you gotta "lay hands" but in Love! That's how my mama did me and I turned out fine.
If it had not been for the Lord on my side, where would I be!!!

Offline B3Wannabe

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Re: Child Discipline Questions
« Reply #2 on: April 03, 2008, 07:44:25 AM »
Dude!

If this relationship is serious, you'll definitely have to work that out BEFORE you get married! Otherwise, you're in for problems!


My wife and I were on different sides at first, we were both spanked as children, but I never felt I was abused. My wife, on the other hand, didn't like spankings because she recalled her personal abuse. Now though, she's with me. We both agree, spank BEFORE you get angry, not during or after. Some parents will let things build up until they explode on the kids.

I do believe in alternate forms of discipline too. The method of correction varies depending on what our children did and the time/location they did it.

With all that said, we make sure that we SHOW them more love than correction. I always take time to play with my kids and read to them. We do experiments and walk together. But somedays....it just seems like they do one thing after another.

Offline 3rd-Day

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Re: Child Discipline Questions
« Reply #3 on: April 03, 2008, 07:45:31 AM »
I'm gone say this, I a firm beleiver in whoopings!! Not saying that everything warrents one, but it depends on the situation, sometimes a good talking to works, others you gotta "lay hands" but in Love! That's how my mama did me and I turned out fine.
Good point!

Children and women are wierd people.
Im too tall to act small.

Offline T-Block

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Re: Child Discipline Questions
« Reply #4 on: April 03, 2008, 07:46:25 AM »
Like the Color Purple said:  "Beat em."  The end.
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Music Theory, da numbers work!

Offline SisterCM

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Re: Child Discipline Questions
« Reply #5 on: April 03, 2008, 07:47:20 AM »
So i was sitting with my sig. other last night watching Tyler Perry's House of Payne...and part of the show was discussing child discipline, which sparked up an interesting conversation about how we should discipline our children, or what techniques we should use.  I for one am a believer in "spare the rod, spoil the child".  If I have to ask a child to do something more than two or three times and he/she doesn't do it, then we have a problem.  But to her, she prefers not to PERIOD!  Doing so would be a LAST resort. 


So just seeking opinions, here's a few questions:

1.  Do you believe in Prov 13:24 (Spare the rod, spoil the child)?  Do you believe it works (If done the RIGHT way?) YES

2.  Do you believe there are alternate ways of disciplining the child without using spankings? YES

3.  Do you think it's better to use those "alternate ways" instead of spanking? It really depends on the nature of the child.  You have to know your child and you have to know which form of disciplines is helping your child.  However, what ever you do it has to be done in the spirit of love.



God Bless!

J.
And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;  Colossians 3:23

Offline sjonathan02

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Re: Child Discipline Questions
« Reply #6 on: April 03, 2008, 08:18:12 AM »
Yea, different kids require different forms of discipline.

My wife only needed to be spoken to by her parents.

I needed a lil' bit mo'.  ::)


It's your house, as the parent, it's up to you how and your spouse as to how you will discipline your kids.

Sometimes, that rod is physical. Sometimes, that rod is emotional, or psychological.

Whichever way, use. the. rod.  ;)
Despite our communication technology, no invention is as effective as the sound of the human voice.

Offline phatstrings

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Re: Child Discipline Questions
« Reply #7 on: April 03, 2008, 09:20:33 AM »
 Two points i'll like to make :
1. When you use the rod, make sure sure you're not just venting your anger or frustration. This is the message most kids get when whipped.

2.Try both (Spanking and the alternate) and see which works more for the child.When you beat a child too often,he/she might just get used to it and at that stage the beating wont stop them from doing whatever they want to do.There were times when my mum's verbal spankings stung so much i wished she used the whip instead.
i shall not die but live!

Offline jgause2

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Re: Child Discipline Questions
« Reply #8 on: April 03, 2008, 09:35:31 AM »
i also totally agree.  I was always taught that its good to discipline(out of love), no matter how you do it, but to never doing out of anger, or hostility.  And you always offset that discipline, with LOVE, letting them know that even though you did wrong, i still Love you, showing that same grace and compassion that Christ shows us, otherwise your children will grow to think that all you do is whoop, and nothing else, which is what happened to my sig. other. 
The only place where "success" comes before "work" is in the dictionary

Offline B3Wannabe

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Re: Child Discipline Questions
« Reply #9 on: April 03, 2008, 10:08:57 AM »
i also totally agree.  I was always taught that its good to discipline(out of love), no matter how you do it, but to never doing out of anger, or hostility.  And you always offset that discipline, with LOVE, letting them know that even though you did wrong, i still Love you, showing that same grace and compassion that Christ shows us, otherwise your children will grow to think that all you do is whoop, and nothing else, which is what happened to my sig. other. 

And there you have it.

Offline uriahsmusic

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Re: Child Discipline Questions
« Reply #10 on: April 03, 2008, 02:02:00 PM »
ok...Uriahs take on this!

I was entirely traumatized and I refuse to use beating my children as an excuse for not taking the time to find the words that need to be used to get the same results.  Talk to your children all the time. Not just when you need something or want them to do something. Pay attention to when they are misbehaving so you can correct them when the deed is small. Don't wait till something terrible happens.

I have 5 kids and and none of them got much more than a few whacks on the butt at a time and only when they were very little....(to get their attention).....after that I talk....and repeat...and punish if needed.

I don't have an issue with repeating myself.  I pay attention and talk to my kids constantly.  My children have very high self esteem.

I have a real problem with the way black people treat their kids. I constantly take the opportunity to speak to people about this almost every day.   When people see my kids they say ...wow they are so smart and talkative and happy.  How do you do it?..You see people are used to seeing our children quiet or grunting or just being bad and unruly!

Most times they have nothing to say because they are told to be quiet constantly thus they have poor command of the language.  We must remember that our children aren't annoyances...they are responsibilities...!!!!

....Many things they think and do in the future will be determined by you actions toward them today!

Once again...Be nice to your children.....Don't wait till your kids burn the house down to discipline them...do it constantly!....Pay attention to them constantly!....Talk to them and engage them in conversation constantly!.....Take shut up and be quiet out of your vocabulary.  Make their lives fun..on purpose....Stop what ever you are doing and sit and play with your kids...go places with them as they get older....!...Spanking is for extreme situations ONLY!...do not build unnecessary fear into your kids.
Here is the litmus test....
Pick up your hand relatively quickly in front of your child...do they flinch or guard themselves...
Pick up a belt and just carry it around.....do they cower?...do they get worried?.....

If they do react to either of these than you need to reverse that!...The fear that you build into your child converts to many things in their future...

Offline Fenix

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Re: Child Discipline Questions
« Reply #11 on: April 03, 2008, 04:41:43 PM »
Kids are cute.
The car, job, house wife/husband are not the reward, God is.

Offline sjonathan02

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Re: Child Discipline Questions
« Reply #12 on: April 03, 2008, 04:47:06 PM »
Kids are cute.

When they're sleeping.  ::)
Despite our communication technology, no invention is as effective as the sound of the human voice.

Offline LaylaMonroe

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Re: Child Discipline Questions
« Reply #13 on: April 03, 2008, 04:50:44 PM »
When you're in love you don't want to fall asleep bc reality is finally better than your dreams.

Offline Fenix

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Re: Child Discipline Questions
« Reply #14 on: April 03, 2008, 04:53:29 PM »
When they're sleeping.  ::)

Sjon's a big meanie-head.
The car, job, house wife/husband are not the reward, God is.

Offline Fenix

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Re: Child Discipline Questions
« Reply #15 on: April 03, 2008, 04:59:08 PM »
Sjon's a big meanie-head.

...in fact, i think imma pay a couple of disgruntled nine-year olds in Sjon's school to attack him when he's not looking.

 :P :P
The car, job, house wife/husband are not the reward, God is.

Offline under13

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Re: Child Discipline Questions
« Reply #16 on: April 03, 2008, 05:06:01 PM »
...in fact, i think imma pay a couple of disgruntled nine-year olds in Sjon's school to attack him when he's not looking.

 :P :P

WoW. I know I shouldnt be talkin, but you might wanna Slow your role Homie.

Offline T-Block

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Re: Child Discipline Questions
« Reply #17 on: April 03, 2008, 05:19:56 PM »
Kids are cute.

When they in the womb.
Real musicians play in every key!!!
Music Theory, da numbers work!

Offline THE WOLFMAN

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Re: Child Discipline Questions
« Reply #18 on: April 03, 2008, 06:22:36 PM »
WHOOP. THAT.........

Offline SisterCM

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Re: Child Discipline Questions
« Reply #19 on: April 03, 2008, 06:52:36 PM »
Kids are cute, when they are your grands. ;)
And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;  Colossians 3:23
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