I'm gonna try my best to keep this short... but... well, y'all know me... lol.
Just yesterday, I had an e-mail conversation with a small group of my friends - 4 of us - discussing one's pending divorce and plans for separation. She's not in Christ, but the rest of us are. When I asked her what her plans were, she said that she was going to skip out on rent for May and June, and move back to Atlanta when her daughter graduates in June. I asked why on earth she would skip out on paying her rent, and she said that "Jackie" had suggested that, so she could save money. Jackie reiterated that this would be the only way our friend could finance the trip back to Atlanta, and have enough money for an apartment, etc. The e-mails started pouring in, with everyone agreeing that this was the only way.
No need to dig too deeply in that, so let me get to my point...
God has really been dealing with me about my friendships. I truly thank God for having people in my life (family and friends) to whom I am accountable. Likewise, I hold my friends accountable. I've never been one to hold my tongue. When I see my friends or acquaintances doing or saying something I think is wrong, I usually call it out. They don't have to heed my admonition, but at least I have peace knowing that I said my part. I've never been one to believe that I
only have to be accountable to God... even when we're in Christ, sometimes we miss the mark. Sometimes, as someone shared with me the other day, you can ignore the prompting of the Holy Ghost so often, that after a while, you don't even feel conviction from wrongdoing. We NEED friends who hold us accountable.
I thought about a time a while back when I was telling this same group of friends how badly I told an acquaintance off. (I mean, I really, really told this person
OFF... lol). And I was kinda bragging about it. And my friends were kinda cheering me on.
Granted, the person was dead wrong and deserved to be told off. But, I still handled it in an unGodly manner, and no one in my circle of friends should have supported that behavior at all.
We need friends who will have the courage to stand up to us when we are wrong. And we need to make sure that we are approachable enough to receive correction - from friends, acquaintances, young folks, old folks, whomever. Right is right, no matter who it comes from.
I always find myself stumped when I hear of stories where three, four, five people do something wrong together... I always find myself wondering, "
you mean out of all those folks involved, nobody had the good sense to say 'hold up... this ain't right.'?" I thought about it in that conversation concerning my friend the other day. I thought about it concerning all these stories of these students plotting to harm their teachers. I thought about it concerning churches where the entire board of directors is corrupt. I thought about it concerning my own personal life... times when I know I was dead wrong, but didn't have a single friend that had the courage or desire to say, "
Rue... I love you girl, and you know I got mad respect for you.... but, you were wrong for how you handled that."
I'm talking mainly to myself, here, but it may help someone else, too: if you have people in your life who allow you to do wrong and don't speak up against it... if you lay down at night and KNOW you were dead wrong, but no one said a word to you about it... yes, you need to fix that... but, more importantly, you (we) need to change the folks in your (our) circle(s) of friendship.
Having the wrong friends, even if they are in Christ, can be detrimental to your Christian lifestyle.
