Dealing with a Former Pastor (place of employment)

[jayvee]

In August I resigned (with a 3 week notice) from one church and accepted a position with another.  A lot of the choir members heard of where I was playing and began to visit; not a problem because I didn't ask any of them to visit.  Needless to say, this past Sunday a couple of them joined the new church.  Their former pastor got wind of this and sent an email blast indirectly talking about me trying to steal choir members, which is far from the truth.  I know the pastor is mad because the choir has gone from 35 members to 7 -- again, I had nothing to do with that.  I want to say something to the pastor in a very direct (but nice) way because I will not allow him to ruin my "good name".   Should I move on or should I address this with him?  I would love feedback!

[betnich]

Move on - it's not worth it - impairs forgiveness - like picking a scab or digging up a grave.

Sorry to be so brutal, but I went through a similar situation recently and have just started to play at another church. I don't give those at the new church the gory details and if I hear gossip from the old one I try to say something like, 'well, God bless them..."

Of course, if the old pastor continues to get in your face you may have to respond. But try to do that as gracefully (and with a friend or two) as possible. A pastor who is that upset over losing members may not last too long, anyway.

That being said, your silence can send him a very direct message...

[SisterT]

..... and sent an email blast indirectly talking about me trying to steal choir members

Indirectly means he was addressing you, so leave it alone. If you approach him in any manner you'd be on his level.

Dude is made for all the wrong reasons. First, they weren't his members (isn't that in a song. LOL!). Secondly, members have a choice to go wherever they please---although I hope they aren't following a musician instead of the voice of the Lord.

[under13]

I would set up a face to face meeting and talk with him to clear up any issues. No reason for childish games in ministry. He is probaly the real reason the members left. Who would want to be under a Pastor who would do something like that?

[vtguy84]

Move on - it's not worth it - impairs forgiveness - like picking a scab or digging up a grave.

Sorry to be so brutal, but I went through a similar situation recently and have just started to play at another church. I don't give those at the new church the gory details and if I hear gossip from the old one I try to say something like, 'well, God bless them..."

Of course, if the old pastor continues to get in your face you may have to respond. But try to do that as gracefully (and with a friend or two) as possible. A pastor who is that upset over losing members may not last too long, anyway.

That being said, your silence can send him a very direct message...

I agree with this 100%

[johz77]

it is not in you power to address the issue with the pastor, bcos if the same happens to you, you may do likewise. you have to focus on where you are right now and pray that the will of God should be made known to you. bcos you have a race to run and mission to accomplish. it is not a time to acccomodate people from you former church, but to seek God's face for your fulfillment. maybe God wants you to do some thing different or God wants to better place of fulfillment. just be prayerful, continue in your new church, dont discuss you former church or the pastor, focus on what you're doing. God will make his will for you known some how. amen

[PianoWizard]

Welcome to the LGM family "johz77"....Be Blessed.

PianoWiz...

[jayvee]

An update:  The former pastor contact my current church and tried to destroy my character.  Needless to say the current church did an extensive background check, which ended up revealing the former pastor's creditability.  In short, the trap that was being set for me ended up being the former pastor's reality...he's currently without a musician and his membership is down as well.  I remainded prayful during this entire situation and God has fought my battle once again.  I'm not happy that the church is without a musician because I know the importance of having one, but I am glad that the former pastor's motives have been revealed.        Psalms 23:5a Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies

[under13]

An update:  The former pastor contact my current church and tried to destroy my character.  Needless to say the current church did an extensive background check, which ended up revealing the former pastor's creditability.  In short, the trap that was being set for me ended up being the former pastor's reality...he's currently without a musician and his membership is down as well.  I remainded prayful during this entire situation and God has fought my battle once again.  I'm not happy that the church is without a musician because I know the importance of having one, but I am glad that the former pastor's motives have been revealed.        Psalms 23:5a Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies

sounds like Psalms 141:8-10

  8But my eyes are toward you, O GOD, my Lord;
    in you I seek refuge; leave me not defenseless!
9Keep me from the trap that they have laid for me
   and from the snares of evildoers!
10Let the wicked fall into their own nets,
   while I pass by safely.

[nextlevelmusic]

Jayvee, I can feel you on this topic.  Not only was I the mom, I was the treasurer also.  I went on one interview, and I told someone that I thought I could trust.  Within 1 hour the pastor called and first clue asked was I coming to service that night, and he wanted to meet with me.  Ambush!  When I got to church, all of my equipment was waiting at the door.  I was told, that he knew about the interview, knew about me resigning at months end, knew about me getting all cashiers checks.  I just looked at my friend because all of the info came from him.  It didn't hurt much about the fact that it was effective immediately, it hurt because of the person that I thought I could trust, the person that I defended from the Pastor, who thought he was trying to take over his church, my frat brother...  Put not your trust in man, was a hard lesson to learn.

So now, I have to deal with the bad mouthing of my name.  I prepared air tight financial statements, and a nice resignation which included that I would serve out the remainder of the month, however the resignation didn't matter.  Before I left, I made sure that all was in order with me, and everyone got copies of everything i.e. cashiers checks, withdrawls, deposits, etc.  Your name is very important.  I just hope that this guy does not try to do to me what he has done to others before me.  I got a lot of information on him, that I will not let the enemy come in and use me to fire back on him.  All Pastors are not right, and all pastors don't do the right things.  Just because you are a pastor doesn't mean you get a free pass in life.

[momuzik]

Jayvee, I can feel you on this topic.  Not only was I the mom, I was the treasurer also.  I went on one interview, and I told someone that I thought I could trust.  Within 1 hour the pastor called and first clue asked was I coming to service that night, and he wanted to meet with me.  Ambush!  When I got to church, all of my equipment was waiting at the door.  I was told, that he knew about the interview, knew about me resigning at months end, knew about me getting all cashiers checks.  I just looked at my friend because all of the info came from him.  It didn't hurt much about the fact that it was effective immediately, it hurt because of the person that I thought I could trust, the person that I defended from the Pastor, who thought he was trying to take over his church, my frat brother...  Put not your trust in man, was a hard lesson to learn.

So now, I have to deal with the bad mouthing of my name.  I prepared air tight financial statements, and a nice resignation which included that I would serve out the remainder of the month, however the resignation didn't matter.  Before I left, I made sure that all was in order with me, and everyone got copies of everything i.e. cashiers checks, withdrawls, deposits, etc.  Your name is very important.  I just hope that this guy does not try to do to me what he has done to others before me.  I got a lot of information on him, that I will not let the enemy come in and use me to fire back on him.  All Pastors are not right, and all pastors don't do the right things.  Just because you are a pastor doesn't mean you get a free pass in life.

Man, that was dirty!

[nextlevelmusic]

Yeah, that was dirty, and his spoon has gotten really long!  I forgave him, and I won't forget it.

[Tanya Be]

Do not talk to the old Pastor.  Enjoy the current honeymoon with the new Pastor cause it will be over soon (lol).  Sure you'll be happier with the new one but just remember people are people.  All have sinned and come short of the glory of God so just focus on the new one.  I believe you will have enough to do.  I'm speaking from experience.  I'd like to tell you the details but that would be gossiping (there will be no slander witten by me) so.....don't forget to pray (especially about things you don't understand) and then just leave it alone (unless you doubt that God can handle it - lol).  Let Go and Let God! It always works for me.  I hope it will work for you.