Not good enough a friend because im not spiritual enough

[Arkhams Finest]

@Mztee, I couldn't agree more.

RJ, I will be PMing you when I get back to the office.

I shall await with bated breath.

[LaylaMonroe]

And you shall receive +10 pts for "bated."

[Arkhams Finest]

The thing is that no one can, definitively, say that if she left it was "because God was not in the situation" because there's always the chance that God may not have been in  the church....well in the way He should be.   They could just have easily been a bunch of people coming together every week to go through the motions and pass judgement. It may be possible that she was met with the implied notion that she may not have been a "for real christian" for not attending as often as the more dedicated member.

We don't know if they equate how often she attended church each week with how saved she was. As far as not mentioning pray, fasting, etc. she may not have thought it relevant as her main question seems to be " why did someone whom I thought was my friend, just up and decide that I wasn't worth being a friend to any longer?

That's the question.

Maybe her friend thought witnessing consists of passing out flyers to people on the street.

Tangent: I have found that stopping random people and giving them flyers/trying to witness isn't the best way to win people to the Lord.  The chances of someone reading the flyer or stopping to receive your witness and be converted are very slim.  The best way is to be a light to those you work with, are friends with, and generally come into contact with during your life.  These are much more effective ways than "cold calling".  This girl's former friend has taken her light away and left her hurting and groping in the darkness.

[Arkhams Finest]

And you shall receive +10 pts for "bated."

Larue,

Are these points redeemable?  Is there a prize?  How many more points do I need to pass sjon, seeing as I have no chance in the post count category.

Please advise.

Regards,
Rj

[mztee09]

I hear you on that one, witnessing starts with the person and who they are. Even a stranger may be more responsive to what you do as opposed to what you say, or the tracks you give them. 

[sjonathan02]

I hear you on that one, witnessing starts with the person and who they are. Even a stranger may be more responsive to what you do as opposed to what you say, or the tracks you give them.

I agree with the above poster.

[kodacolor]

Idk.  I think this young lady is in a spiritually toxic situation at her current church.  I'm willing to bet if you put her in a church that's Bible believing, Bible teaching, truly about developing their relationship with Christ, and the members treat each other like brothers and sisters, if she was saved to begin with, something will be rekindled inside of her.  If not, you could get back to her in a month or two and she'll be like, "nice church, very nice people, made some good friends, nice music, nice sermons, but still church is...meh."  (Either that or perhaps there's a TON of church hurt here that needs to be dealt with.)

People who are more mature in Christ can think more clearly in these situations like, "this situation is toxic for me.  I know I have family here, but it's hindering my relationship with Christ.  Time to move."

I kinda feel that if this young lady has had such a hard time making friends in the past, the prospect of going to somewhere else with people who are supposed to believe the same thing, and have the same morals as the people who are hurting her scares her.  Should she be dependent upon people to guide her through her relationship with God?  No, but it seems like she's at that point where she would need a guide before venturing out on her own.* 

(* = based on a situation I had with a friend and a situation from my childhood.  My friend asked me how to pray and didn't know how to answer in a way that was helpful because I was taught how to pray coming up.  IMO, praying is easy however people who haven't done it before need to be walked through it.  You can't just say, "Geez!  Bow your head and close your eyes and say stuff!" cause not only is that inaccurate, it doesn't teach anybody anything, and it just pisses of the person.  Also, when I was younger I was hesitant about studying the Bible by myself because I figured it would be easy to misinterpret stuff and I didn't want to learn incorrectly so I opted for Bible Study.  Obviously she can't go to Bible study where she's at and I think she need a friend to help her move on to another church)

[csedwards2]

praying is simply talking to God. Start there

[kodacolor]

praying is simply talking to God. Start there

I did.

[SavnBass]

Just going to church has nothing to do with being spiritual.  A good friend would encourage you to not only go but live the life that is pleasing to God outside of church.  I would suggest that you seek and find a church where you can become an ACTIVE member.  Active participation in the ministry would afford you a more meaningful purpose in church.  Pray that God will lead you to such a place where the superficial things are not forced upon you.  There is a love for all things Godly that must be obtained as well.  Once this is accomplished, your church attendance will never be an issue.  Finally my prayer is that you get a hunger and thirst after righteousness for there's a promise unto you under those conditions.

Be blessed In Jesus Name.

+10

There is nothing like having a purpose for going to church. It sounds on the surface as if going there to worship should be enough.. but there is more to it than that.. We can worship him anywhere. We are instructed to go to church to lift up others and be lifted up by others.. to serve and be served to.. and that becomes an additional part of our worship..  The thing you need to ask yourself is.. and be honest.. where is your relationship to your maker at this moment.. and go from there. The other stuff is fluff, smoke and mirrors.. and just be advised that if you indeed are a "friend" of GOD then you will be friendly with others.. even if there are some that you may chose to stay away from ... like that judgmental friend but you cant walk tat walk in a vacuum.. by yourself.

[LaylaMonroe]

Thanks Savn and Hasmo. It was good to re-read Hasmo's comment and yours really blessed me too, Savn. Both of you encouraged me. I hope the young lady gets to see those comments and finds her way to a church that can help her grow and build her faith, strengthening her relationship in Christ and the BOC. Thanks, guys.

[Arkhams Finest]

It sounds on the surface as if going there to worship should be enough.. but there is more to it than that.. We can worship him anywhere. We are instructed to go to church to lift up others and be lifted up by others.. to serve and be served to.. and that becomes an additional part of our worship..  

Quoted for emphasis epicness.

[Arkhams Finest]

1st part in bold - to clarify, are you saying that if a person doesn't want to go to church, they don't have a relationship with the Lord? (Just trying to get to your bottom line on that).

Yes.   If I'm in an intimate relationship with someone, I would have no problem going to their house...no matter HOW much I talk to them.   

I was glad when they said unto me, Let us go into the house of the LORD...but homegirl wasn't.   

I was wrong to just say outright that if you don't want to go you don't know God.

While not wanting to go to church is very often indicative of not having a relationship with the Lord, things aren't always so black and white.  Like most rules, there are exceptions.

There are people with trust issues.  There are people who have been hurt by other saints.  There are people who are currently stuck in 'placeholder' churches until the Lord directs them to the church home he has for them.  It is quite possible for someone to have a relationship with the Lord and still not want to go to church for these reasons.

Here's the hard part though.

Want to go or not, YOU STILL HAVE TO GO.

You have to go because the book of Hebrews says "And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near." (NLT Translation)

You have to go because He gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers.  Why did He give different people these giftings?  For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ.

And as SavnBass so eloquently put it...

It sounds on the surface as if going there to worship should be enough.. but there is more to it than that.. We can worship him anywhere. We are instructed to go to church to lift up others and be lifted up by others.. to serve and be served to.. and that becomes an additional part of our worship.

So I have zero right to tell anybody they don't have a relationship with the Lord because they don't want to go to church, or because they don't attend a church.  That was out of place.

I can say, however, that if you have forsaken the assembly you should get back.

She wasn't wrong for not wanting to go.  She was wrong because she stopped going.

[LaylaMonroe]

Wow.

I literally just came back to my desk. I was walking around outside just thinking and praying and stuff, and I said "wow, I actually know four people who firmly believe that if you don't want to go to church, you don't have a relationship with the Lord." I will admit I really had a hard time with that. I just can't wrap my brain around it. Came back inside and saw this. I feel a lot better.

Thanks for sharing that, RJ. And fwiw, I can agree with all that, and I'm really glad you said that.