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Main => Gospel Music Lounge => Topic started by: LaylaMonroe on April 04, 2008, 01:28:04 PM

Title: It might be time for a change
Post by: LaylaMonroe on April 04, 2008, 01:28:04 PM
I'm gonna try my best to keep this short... but... well, y'all know me... lol.  :D :D :D

Just yesterday, I had an e-mail conversation with a small group of my friends - 4 of us - discussing one's pending divorce and plans for separation.  She's not in Christ, but the rest of us are.  When I asked her what her plans were, she said that she was going to skip out on rent for May and June, and move back to Atlanta when her daughter graduates in June.  I asked why on earth she would skip out on paying her rent, and she said that "Jackie" had suggested that, so she could save money.  Jackie reiterated that this would be the only way our friend could finance the trip back to Atlanta, and have enough money for an apartment, etc.  The e-mails started pouring in, with everyone agreeing that this was the only way.

No need to dig too deeply in that, so let me get to my point...

God has really been dealing with me about my friendships.  I truly thank God for having people in my life (family and friends) to whom I am accountable.  Likewise, I hold my friends accountable.  I've never been one to hold my tongue.  When I see my friends or acquaintances doing or saying something I think is wrong, I usually call it out.  They don't have to heed my admonition, but at least I have peace knowing that I said my part.  I've never been one to believe that I only have to be accountable to God... even when we're in Christ, sometimes we miss the mark.  Sometimes, as someone shared with me the other day, you can ignore the prompting of the Holy Ghost so often, that after a while, you don't even feel conviction from wrongdoing.  We NEED friends who hold us accountable.

I thought about a time a while back when I was telling this same group of friends how badly I told an acquaintance off.  (I mean, I really, really told this person OFF... lol).  And I was kinda bragging about it.  And my friends were kinda cheering me on.  :-\  Granted, the person was dead wrong and deserved to be told off.  But, I still handled it in an unGodly manner, and no one in my circle of friends should have supported that behavior at all.

We need friends who will have the courage to stand up to us when we are wrong.  And we need to make sure that we are approachable enough to receive correction - from friends, acquaintances, young folks, old folks, whomever.  Right is right, no matter who it comes from.  :-\  I always find myself stumped when I hear of stories where three, four, five people do something wrong together... I always find myself wondering, "you mean out of all those folks involved, nobody had the good sense to say 'hold up... this ain't right.'?"  I thought about it in that conversation concerning my friend the other day.  I thought about it concerning all these stories of these students plotting to harm their teachers.  I thought about it concerning churches where the entire board of directors is corrupt.  I thought about it concerning my own personal life... times when I know I was dead wrong, but didn't have a single friend that had the courage or desire to say, "Rue... I love you girl, and you know I got mad respect for you.... but, you were wrong for how you handled that."

I'm talking mainly to myself, here, but it may help someone else, too: if you have people in your life who allow you to do wrong and don't speak up against it... if you lay down at night and KNOW you were dead wrong, but no one said a word to you about it... yes, you need to fix that... but, more importantly, you (we) need to change the folks in your (our) circle(s) of friendship.

Having the wrong friends, even if they are in Christ,  can be detrimental to your Christian lifestyle.
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: b3wannab on April 04, 2008, 01:40:10 PM
I've always felt that true friends are the ones that tell you the truth, not what you want to hear.  JMHO.
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: chevonee on April 04, 2008, 02:05:39 PM
AMEN RUE...AAaaaaaaaaMEN!!!
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: BroAllan on April 04, 2008, 02:09:37 PM
I've always felt that true friends are the ones that tell you the truth, not what you want to hear.  JMHO.

I agree.

"Faithful are the wounds of a friend ..."  Proverbs 27:6

LaRue, you are wise to acknowledge and share this with others who might benefit from it.
You're right, we don't need a cheering section when we do something wrong.  We need a "friend" to tell us not to do it, or to stop doing it.  It should to be done in the proper way of course, but nonetheless like b3wannab said, "true friends tell you the truth ..."

God bless you LaRue, and thank you for sharing ... :)  BroAllan
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: LaylaMonroe on April 04, 2008, 02:36:44 PM
AMEN RUE...AAaaaaaaaaMEN!!!

You missed a good chat last night, sis... well, I mean, it got GOODER after you left.. lol.  I wanted to send you the transcript, but it's not in my archive anymore.  :( :-[ :'(

I've always felt that true friends are the ones that tell you the truth, not what you want to hear.  JMHO.

SO TRUE... from small things to big things!!!

I agree.

"Faithful are the wounds of a friend ..."  Proverbs 27:6

LaRue, you are wise to acknowledge and share this with others who might benefit from it.
You're right, we don't need a cheering section when we do something wrong.  We need a "friend" to tell us not to do it, or to stop doing it.  It should to be done in the proper way of course, but nonetheless like b3wannab said, "true friends tell you the truth ..."

God bless you LaRue, and thank you for sharing ... :)  BroAllan

Thank you, BroAllan. I appreciate you!
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: Iamluv on April 04, 2008, 02:40:25 PM
What an ontime word. 

I, just had an experience of letting a friend know they were harsh in speaking to one of the youth,  in church and they went straight gangsta on me.... :o   Folk need to understand that right is right and wrong is wrong, no matter who you are!

Thanks so much for sharing!
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: lordluvr on April 04, 2008, 03:37:00 PM
Very good stuff LaRue.  Someone once told me that the friends you make in college will be your best.  That's actually true in my case.  One of the things I appreciate the most about my association with these cats is that we're not afraid to let each other know when something isn't right.  In fact, when we heard the words, "You're my boy, so I gotta tell ya...."  we knew some form of correction was on the way. 

It's really easy to hang with folks who tell you what you want to hear all the time, but it's essential to hang with folks who tell you what you need to hear.
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: LaylaMonroe on April 04, 2008, 03:46:46 PM
Very good stuff LaRue.  Someone once told me that the friends you make in college will be your best.  That's actually true in my case.  One of the things I appreciate the most about my association with these cats is that we're not afraid to let each other know when something isn't right.  In fact, when we heard the words, "You're my boy, so I gotta tell ya...."  we knew some form of correction was on the way. 

It's really easy to hang with folks who tell you what you want to hear all the time, but it's essential to hang with folks who tell you what you need to hear.

Stop frontin, LL... you know you didn't read all that...  ::)


 :D :D :D :D :D

I'm just kidding with you.  Thanks.  And I agree. I think I may have told you a while back that my awakening moment, an epiphany of sorts, came when my college friends sat me down one day and told me just how vicious I really was.  They had example after example of how sharp my tongue was, how bitterly sarcastic I was, and how - just in general - my communication just wasn't Christlike.  It hurt to hear it, but once I got over the bruised ego, I was grateful - and I still am grateful today.

It's really easy to hang with folks who tell you what you want to hear all the time, but it's essential to hang with folks who tell you what you need to hear.  ;D
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: lordluvr on April 04, 2008, 03:53:40 PM
Amazingly, I actually did read the whole thing.  I can't believe it myself!

By the way, the royalty check should be sent to my address of record.  Thanks.  :D
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: sjonathan02 on April 04, 2008, 04:03:35 PM
Very good stuff LaRue.  Someone once told me that the friends you make in college will be your best.  That's actually true in my case.  One of the things I appreciate the most about my association with these cats is that we're not afraid to let each other know when something isn't right.  In fact, when we heard the words, "You're my boy, so I gotta tell ya...."  we knew some form of correction was on the way. 

It's really easy to hang with folks who tell you what you want to hear all the time, but it's essential to hang with folks who tell you what you need to hear.

COSIGN. BTW, reminds me of the convo we had on my wedding day, remember?  ;) :)
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: LaylaMonroe on April 04, 2008, 04:07:12 PM
Amazingly, I actually did read the whole thing.  I can't believe it myself!

By the way, the royalty check should be sent to my address of record.  Thanks.  :D

Yeah, I knew you had read it...  ;)

Royalty check....  ;D
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: lordluvr on April 04, 2008, 04:09:19 PM
COSIGN. BTW, reminds me of the convo we had on my wedding day, remember?  ;) :)
Oh great....*brushing through the cobwebs*...Not yet...getting there.
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: sjonathan02 on April 04, 2008, 04:10:05 PM
Oh great....*brushing through the cobwebs*...Not yet...getting there.

Think, before the ceremony.
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: jdholliday on April 04, 2008, 04:38:12 PM
Think, before the ceremony.

Either share it or PM it ;D j/k
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: lordluvr on April 04, 2008, 05:03:45 PM
Think, before the ceremony.
You and LaRue both know I have a selectively good memory.  :D Was this in the dressing/conference room?  Was it on the phone?  Funny, my visual image of the day is great.  Still working on retrieving the audio.  lol
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: LaylaMonroe on April 04, 2008, 05:05:45 PM
You and LaRue both know I have a selectively good memory.  :D Was this in the dressing/conference room?  Was it on the phone?  Funny, my visual image of the day is great.  Still working on retrieving the audio.  lol

Ummm... I bet you could get your answer quicker if you just call/PM/IM him.  :-\

That way **lightbulb flickers on** we could get back to the subject at hand....  ;D
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: lordluvr on April 04, 2008, 05:07:40 PM
Ummm... I bet you could get your answer quicker if you just call/PM/IM him.  :-\

That way **lightbulb flickers on** we could get back to the subject at hand....  ;D
That's a nice way of saying, "Stop hijacking my thread!!!"  Sorry, sis.  No jacking intended.
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: LaylaMonroe on April 04, 2008, 05:10:03 PM
That's a nice way of saying, "Stop hijacking my thread!!!"  Sorry, sis.  No jacking intended.

 ;D  You know me so well.   ;)

And I know it wasn't intended... well, at least not by YOU!  **shoots evil look at Jonathan**  :D :D
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: sjonathan02 on April 04, 2008, 05:43:45 PM
You and LaRue both know I have a selectively good memory.  :D Was this in the dressing/conference room?  Was it on the phone?  Funny, my visual image of the day is great.  Still working on retrieving the audio.  lol


It was in the dressing/conference room. You're getting warmer.  :D
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: LaylaMonroe on April 04, 2008, 05:48:23 PM
*ahem*

Looks at LL.

Don't be tricked, bruh.  ::)
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: LaylaMonroe on April 04, 2008, 05:49:38 PM
It really IS time for a change...
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: lordluvr on April 04, 2008, 07:27:31 PM
I REMEMBER NOW!!!!   The phone call didn't hurt, though.   :D
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: LaylaMonroe on April 04, 2008, 07:31:46 PM
Thanks for reporting back to us.  We were all anxious to find out whether you'd remember.  Now that we know, we can exhale.

Now... after Jonathan responds to your comment, any chance that can be the end of that?
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: lordluvr on April 04, 2008, 07:50:22 PM
Thanks for reporting back to us.  We were all anxious to find out whether you'd remember.  Now that we know, we can exhale.

Now... after Jonathan responds to your comment, any chance that can be the end of that?
I knew you were waiting with bated breath.  Glad I could come through for you.  Now, back to our recently (though unintentionally) hijacked thread.
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: pastor rob on April 04, 2008, 08:36:58 PM
to be 26 you sure spoke truth and wisdom.  ;)
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: lordluvr on April 04, 2008, 08:41:45 PM
to be 26 you sure spoke truth and wisdom.  ;)
I hear she's 27 now.  Maybe that extra year brought extra insight.
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: chevonee on April 04, 2008, 08:44:53 PM
Yall betta leave my girl alone....Gawt gone gitchall... ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D :D
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: Lildrummaboy66 on April 04, 2008, 08:45:15 PM
This is confirmation for me! Thanks sis! Be blessed!
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: LaylaMonroe on April 04, 2008, 08:45:43 PM
to be 26 you sure spoke truth and wisdom.  ;)

That's because I make a point of spending time with the seasoned saints... those old time mothers whose lips have never tasted alcohol or gossip, whose fingers have never touched tobacco or playing cards.... lol.  :D
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: LaylaMonroe on April 04, 2008, 08:46:56 PM
This is confirmation for me! Thanks sis! Be blessed!

To God be the glory!  God bless you, too.  :)

Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: pastor rob on April 04, 2008, 08:47:48 PM
That's because I make a point of spending time with the seasoned saints... those old time mothers whose lips have never tasted alcohol or gossip, whose fingers have never touched tobacco or playing cards.... lol.  :D

you are truly old school apostolic! now wave your hankerchief (sp) and shout glory!  ;D
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: rayjohnson83 on April 04, 2008, 08:56:50 PM
AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: It might be time for a change
Post by: LaylaMonroe on April 04, 2008, 09:00:47 PM
you are truly old school apostolic! now wave your hankerchief (sp) and shout glory!  ;D

I sho' is!!!  :D :D :D

**waving my white hankie**

GLORAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!

 :D :D :D :D :D