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Author Topic: am i overreacting? (long post)  (Read 1427 times)

Offline AnnointedHands86

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am i overreacting? (long post)
« on: December 31, 2008, 12:58:28 PM »
I have been playing for this church and the service is for the most part very routine same amount and type of songs every sunday. Now they decide that I'm not playing enough and shouldn't be paid or not allowed to play. Okay let me start from the beginning. When I first started at this church I was young and only knew about gospel music what I was able to read from sheet music. The pastor was well aware of my abilities and knew from the jump that I didn't know much and couldn't play by ear. That was cool with him I guess because he told me that he wanted to work with me so I could grow. So a little while passes and the bass player, drummer, and MOM quits at the same time leaving me by myself. I start taking lessons that costs $200 a month, I bought music like every week so while I was learning other things I could still at least have something to teach at rehearsals. So I showed up to rehearsal one day to find someone else would be playing ("helping me out") and there's a new director and drummer. So I still had my songs as usual only to be told that this new guy had a song that he was doing and this has been going on for a few months now. I'm still not too hot at playing by ear so I decided to just join the team and ask this guy to help me with the songs that he was bringing. Dude touched me on the shoulder and said that he wasn't the guy who's my teacher. Rather than tell him where to get off I said okay and walked away. Obviously this guy and the pastor had a metting or whatever because the pastor called to talk to me as well. He went on to say that I'm not playing enough or how he thought I should and that if I didn't play more then he won't pay me or I can't play. So now I'm looking at him like he's on drugs or something because he's the same person who told me only a few weeks ago that I'm doind better with the choir and that the other dude was there to only help. But in the same breath tells me that dude doesn't have to help. I politely told him that wether I play there or somewhere else that I would indeed continue to play and if he let's me play there wether he pays me or not I still will continue to learn because I'm not playing for the money I'm playing for God and me. Then I started thinkin..the few little coins I get isn't enough to pay my cell bill anyways so why is he still talking about money? Am I overreacting by being upset? What would you do in this situation?

Offline betnich

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Re: am i overreacting? (long post)
« Reply #1 on: December 31, 2008, 01:19:49 PM »
My take...

Dude, you've been replaced...Pastor may want to give your money to the new guy.

Offline under13

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Re: am i overreacting? (long post)
« Reply #2 on: December 31, 2008, 01:45:46 PM »
My take...

Dude, you've been replaced...

If I were you I would just accept that.

 You should also continue to learn and work on your ear, and in a year or two, you should be ready for even bigger things. In the mean time,  Since you read well, try to find a small church where you can utilize those skills while you work on your ear. Your best bet would to  find a small AME or episcopal church, as most of them do hymns out of the hymnbook and anhtems where music is readily available.

What area are you from?

Offline momuzik

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Re: am i overreacting? (long post)
« Reply #3 on: December 31, 2008, 02:00:38 PM »
Well, your pastor already let you know he's not fully satisfied with you playing - that's cool. Sounds like he likes the new guy's playing better - that's cool too.

But what ain't cool is the fact that he won't come straight out and say that you're about to be replaced. If he wants to replace you - just say so; no need for threats.

As far as you go, it would be good if you could learn something from him while he's there.

Offline AnnointedHands86

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Re: am i overreacting? (long post)
« Reply #4 on: December 31, 2008, 07:12:15 PM »
I live in louisiana--right outside new orleans. That's what I said too that I'll accept being replaced if they would just be straight with me and let me know the deal. His words I believe were that he doesn't want me to feel pushed to the side or replaced because that's not what he's trying to do.

Offline thomassan17

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Re: am i overreacting? (long post)
« Reply #5 on: January 01, 2009, 02:37:17 PM »
The question I would ask is what is he doing? You have a right to know if you are being replaced, or if there is some type of problem with your playing. You also should know what is expected of you. Such as, are you still allowed to play for the church with the other musician? All of that should be discussed with the whole music staff present so there is no hidden agenda. Just be straight up. There is no need to be 2 faced if he (the pastor) is trying to go in another direction with the music ministry. No one gets totally hurt when you use honest ways of communication.
     This may be your opportunity to grow in other areas with your music. Sometimes the Lord puts us in the desert to find our purposes in HIM. Count in all joy!!! Be Blessed!!!

P.S.-And no, You are acting in a natural manner as someone who has concerns. We all do that....Be Blessed!!!!

Offline jayjay

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Re: am i overreacting? (long post)
« Reply #6 on: January 02, 2009, 08:29:00 PM »
Do Not! I mean DO NOT!  Wait for him(the pastor) to tell you nothing. In fact he has already told you in so many words and in every way imaginable. You go directly to him and ask him directly- "What's Up" so you'll know definitely where you stand. Remember your career is your responsibility- not theirs, because he is gonna cover his assets regardless and he's gonna take care of what's necessary for him. If you continue to stay now-you're play'n yourself. When he couldn't do any better he had to use you-though he knew your skills and abilities now that there are others pushing from behind the scene- you're not good enough. The truth is they're not good enough for you to waste your time on anymore. He's a two faced snake coward.  Get out before it gets really gets nasty.  I would advise any musician to always have a network of churches/pastors/musicians out here to keep going. Stay focused and strong, because God is able.  Don't worry the last shall be first. Peace

giftedone88

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Re: am i overreacting? (long post)
« Reply #7 on: January 02, 2009, 09:06:30 PM »
to me, i believe our God is not a God of confusion, therefore, if you don't quite understand what is going on, simply ask your pastor what really is what? and if it seems as though things are different than he says and you don't agree, don't hate, don't bash, and don't think too deep into the situation. Pray to God about it and leave the situation with God, encourage yourself my sibling in Christ and move on...

Offline kodacolor

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Re: am i overreacting? (long post)
« Reply #8 on: January 02, 2009, 09:10:32 PM »
Well, it sounds like you've been replaced.  Personally, since you've been pushed aside and dude has no interest in helping you I don't see the point in saying.  However, pray about what God would have you to do in this situation.  Who knows, God may have you stay there and soften the musician's heart so he will be willing to help you.

If you're going to confront your pastor about this situation ask him, in a loving way, what's going on.  Maybe you should ask him "yes" or "no" questions.  Any question he ducks around is, most likely, the answer that isn't in your favor.  Still, that's just my two cents.

Please take a few deep breaths.  Focus on God.  Give this situation over to God.  As my current Avatar says..."Anger is the condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.  You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying about the future."

Offline Tyron90

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Re: am i overreacting? (long post)
« Reply #9 on: January 04, 2009, 03:25:31 PM »
I would say, Pray on it and let GOD direct your path.  Take your situtation as a learning experience and remember that GOD has something bigger and much better for you. 

Offline malthumb

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Re: am i overreacting? (long post)
« Reply #10 on: January 04, 2009, 04:01:46 PM »
If I were you I would just accept that.

 You should also continue to learn and work on your ear, and in a year or two, you should be ready for even bigger things. In the mean time,  Since you read well, try to find a small church where you can utilize those skills while you work on your ear. Your best bet would to  find a small AME or episcopal church, as most of them do hymns out of the hymnbook and anhtems where music is readily available.

......

Astute observation and very sound advice.  Consider it seriously.

Peace,

James
FAITH unites people
RELIGION divides FAITH

Offline musiclover14

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Re: am i overreacting? (long post)
« Reply #11 on: January 09, 2009, 07:52:06 PM »
No,
YOu definately ARE NOT over reacting!! I agree with the other statements!! However, your response to the situation will be what makes you the bigger person!! Youve made progress and like the other writer said, it is important for you to continue to develop your skills and until you are certain that the situation is what you think it is, treat everyone with the same respect and get better!!!! You dont become great overnight, it takes time and practice.

Offline NJDBalla

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Re: am i overreacting? (long post)
« Reply #12 on: January 09, 2009, 11:06:21 PM »
I would say, Pray on it and let GOD direct your path.  Take your situtation as a learning experience and remember that GOD has something bigger and much better for you. 
COSIGN!!! ;)
Play what you KNOW is right; not what you THINK is right
BTW Go to http://www.wordoffaithmnc.com
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