TJ Needs YOU!! Yep, I'm Talking to YOU!!

[SirTJ]

Okay, one more question yall. I think I'm leaning towards #2. If I were to go with 2, do you think it'd work better written in first person or third person?

I was thinking first person since it's kind of an internal battle where the main character shapes the story -  but, on the other hand, third person kind of gives more breathing room. It allows the reader to form impressions rather than be told what to feel about the character.

Any opinions?

[lordluvr]

3rd person.  You'll be better able to paint a picture of that internal battle and the effect the battle has on him.

[B3Wannabe]

I like #1 too, because you have more "options" with SCI-FI. When you're writing about something more real, you have the boundaries of the real world.

On the other hand, #2 seems to have a better plot...right now at least. I think #1 would sound better if you got rid of the masks.

[LaylaMonroe]

Can you toss a political scandal in #2? Maybe the ex-fiance could cheat with a governor or a mayor or something... or even the councilperson that represents the district where the main character lives or works...

By the way, I just put two and two together... is this the project you wanted me to edit? If you go with #1, I'll probably have to pass. LOL.  I don't think I could read an entire sci-fi chapter, let alone a whole book! 

[SirTJ]

By the way, I just put two and two together... is this the project you wanted me to edit? If you go with #1, I'll probably have to pass. LOL.  I don't think I could read an entire sci-fi chapter, let alone a whole book! 

LOL...nah, that was something else. I haven't even started on it yet. The group will probably handle editing and such with this one, provided it goes that far.

[jjblack]

Both were great.  I liked #1 a little better, so many different ways you could take it.

[SirTJ]

I'm still working on this novel, but I gave both synopsis' to my Creative Writing professor and she's supposed to be giving me some feedback/notes on Monday, but I wanted to ask yall's opinion:

Do you think either of these two premises' could actually work as a Movie or Television Series? Like, if they were turned into some sort of screenplay, would it be something you'd go see or turn on the TV to watch? Which do you think? Movie or TV series?

Just trying to get some general opinions. 

[kodacolor]

They would both make good screenplays, but #1 would required a much bigger budget than #2

I think #2 could work as either a movie or a TV show.  #1 seems more like a movie than a TV show to me.

[nessalynn77]

#2 is more something I would watch than #1, but if my Teejie was the writer... I'd be glued to the screen for both!

[sjonathan02]

#2 is more something I would watch than #1, but if my Teejie was the writer... I'd be glued to the screen for both!

I agree; and I'd probably be mad at the main character wondering how he is possibly changing as he "understands" others. 

#1 is more of a movie but I disagree with Koda that it would take a large budget to make.

[SirTJ]

I agree; and I'd probably be mad at the main character wondering how he is possibly changing as he "understands" others. 

Can you elaborate a bit on this point?

Thanks for the input everyone.

[sjonathan02]

Okay, here's the deal. This writing group that I am has given us a task: write a novel.

Yep...a whole, complete, full NOVEL.

So, I've come up with two stories to write my novel about, but I kind of need my family's help on deciding which to go with. Which one do you like best? Do you like EITHER of them? Would you read a novel about them? What are some things you would do with the stories? (<-- obviously you don't have to answer all of these).

I know a lot of people don't like to read anything longer than a paragraph, so I don't expect everyone to offer input, but if I could get a couple of you, that'll be cool. Here are the two synopsis':


STORY 1:

Title: "They Wear Masks"

In The world of Elgiem, everyone wears a mask - both figuratively and literally.

The masks allow them to be anyone or anything they desire to be. Every year, on October 31st, they take the masks off and pretend to be the person they were born to be - but no one recognizes each other. Not without the masks.

The distinctions in the masks give each person their personal identities. For years, there has been dissension between a sector of the population called the "lights" (those whose masks are shades of red, orange, and/or yellow) and the "darks" (those whose masks are shades of blue and/or purple). Both races fight to claim 'superiority' over the other, and these fights often manifest in forms of crime, violence, and hatred.

But there's one thing that unites them both: Physical Poetry.

Stadiums flood with people from both races, all eager to be entertained and enthralled by this marriage of poetry and elaborate presentation. For the last several years, however, the quality of Physical Poetry has declined. The words aren't as magical as they once wore, and the elaborate presentations meant to enhance those words have become dull at best.

But before this powerful form of art is completely lost, a young kid, simply known as "Jaspar", bursts unto the scene and sparks a revival of epic proportions. His awe-inspiring talent as a physical poet breathes life into the genre, making it more popular and beloved than ever before.

Against the well wishes of his loved ones, Jaspar is immediately swept up by an entertainment industry that seeks to profit from his magical abilities as a physical poet. His voice becomes influential in both the arenas of entertainment and politics. People, young and old, harken to his words and live by them. Big wig politicians invite him to dine with them. He's sitting on top of the world.

But while there, he witnesses things his eyes can't believe. Government secrets, lies, and conspiracies that, if kept enclosed, could destroy Elgiem. Politicians and elected officials with secret agendas. Entertainment executives using super-intelligent devices to deceive the population. It's scary - and he's now expected to be a part of it all.

This is the story of a dorky kid turned larger-than-life icon who fights to use his resounding voice in a desperate scrimmage against the very ones who gave him that voice. Lies, corruption, and conspiracies are running rapid in Elgiem through the mega worlds of Entertainment and Government, and his fight is against an industry that has the power to bring him down just as fast they brought him up. And if he doesn't keep quiet and go with the flow, that's exactly what they'll do.

Everyone in Elgiem wears a mask. Everyone.


STORY 2:

Title: "Peopled Earth"

As chief editor of the buzzing "Chronicles" magazine, Josiah Macklin could honestly say he had the best staff money could buy.

Yesterday, he fired them all.

Shaken by his fiancee's blatant infidelity, Josiah considers ending it all. His college years were spent fearful and alone. No friends, no girls; but when he found her, that hole inside of him was sealed. He finally had that intimacy he longed for. He felt complete.

But now, all of that was gone. He was back to being the loner.

Seemed like a perfect time to end it all. So he loaded the gun.

But the sound of television in the background kept picking at him. He went to turn it off…

"And I close this broadcast, I just want to leave you with this one thought…nothing is to be feared, only understood."

Josiah stopped. That statement echoed through his mind and heart. Nothing is to be feared, only understood.

So Josiah fires his seemingly perfect staff at "Chronicles" magazine and goes through a rigorous interview process in order to find a new team - a team filled with the right people. All different from each other. Each one containing a characteristic that is common to humanity.

His mission: to understand people. To understand why they do the things they do…why they make the decisions they make…why they act in certain ways. He wants to understand it all. Completely.

So, with his new team assembled, he goes to extraordinary lengths to throw at them problems and situations designed to make them react - and he sits back, observing and recording those reactions. He uses his magazine to persuade the general population - and he continues to observe and record. He's the scientist, and they are the lab rats. By the time it's all said and done, he'll understand people completely. He'll understand the hypocrite. He'll understand the fearful person. He'll understand the cheater. He'll understand the ambitious person. He'll understand why one succeeds at life and the other fails.

And in the process, he'll discover much about himself that he never knew.

This is the story of a hurting man who goes to extraordinary lengths to fully and finally understand and comprehend the source of his pain: People.

----

Thanks yall. I'll give you a shout out in the "Thanks" section if it get's published. 

Can you elaborate a bit on this point?

Thanks for the input everyone.

As I see it, it isn't people that are a problem, it's him. To what end does this character strive to achieve? How does observation serve to make him a better person unless he interacts with them? Also, I believe his 'research' will prove fruitless as:

a. His sample size will never be large enough or able to account for EVERY human action or reaction (he wants to understand people COMPLETELY).
b. Again, he is not directly interacting with his subjects.



The character reminds me of 'Dr. Gregory House'. 

[rayjohnson83]

Story #2 bro