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Main => Gospel Music Lounge => Topic started by: keysrme2010 on September 09, 2011, 09:00:57 AM
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So if its testimony time and an old deacon gets up to testify, is there a time limit?
Because you know you are a musician in a black church when the pastor leans over past two other minister and signals (generally the quick motions of the fingers) to tell you to play something so that he would wrap it up!
But you know you are truly in a black church if the deacons thinks you are accompanying him and BEGINS to Sing!!!! LOL
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*deacon
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when most if not all the people are black ....
guess that wasn't funny ....
(http://1globalpark.com/images/TakeTwo.jpg)
or if the mother's board hats are better than some of the hats when the prince (forgot his name) got married over in England
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when the musicians all leave when the preacher gets up to preach
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When you have to act like a bill collector just to get paid.
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lol @ uey
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When you have to act like a bill collector just to get paid.
ROFL!!!
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when the musicians all leave when the preacher gets up to preach
Ayyyyeeeee! I only do that when:
1. I have to use the bathroom really bad.
2. The preacher preaches the same sermon again.
3. When I'm in the spirit and need to calm down....LOL!
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when the musicians all leave when the preacher gets up to preach
can't do that at my church no more..they come hunt ya down! lol
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When you have to act like a bill collector just to get paid.
LOL or when you DON'T get paid at all!!
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When choir members continue to tell you about songs they heard on the radio. And then they don't want to practice when it's time to learn it. And then they complain that you aren't playing/teaching it like they heard it on the radio. And they have no musical background whatsover, but they wanna tell you that you are playing the song in the wrong key/tempo.
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When choir members continue to tell you about songs they heard on the radio. And then they don't want to practice when it's time to learn it. And then they complain that you aren't playing/teaching it like they heard it on the radio. And they have no musical background whatsover, but they wanna tell you that you are playing the song in the wrong key/tempo.
and they choose some super complicated and get mad if you say okay we are going to simplify this and then get mad if you ask for a raise because you want to devote more time to studying music so they can sing the super complicated stuff ....
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When you uplay shout music and people shout but when you stop playing they stop shouting
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When you play shout music and people shout but when you stop playing they stop shouting
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When you uplay shout music and people shout but when you stop playing they stop shouting
LOL
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When you uplay shout music and people shout but when you stop playing they stop shouting
:D :D
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when the congregation inadvertently rocks together during praise and worship and if someone is rock the opposite way "they are wrong!" lol
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When it's summer and it's hotter in the church than it is outside.
When you have to break the ground off of your good power strip because the church was wired in the late 1800's and doesn't have grounded outlets
If you've ever played the drums with a set of fan handles.
If you've ever made a kick beater out of a wire hanger, a sock, and a rubber band
When there is a set of drum sticks in the piano or organ bench.
If you've had to play for a soloist that by the end of the song had sang in all 12 keys and another 3 that aren't on the keyboard.
When the Leslie volume knob is on 10
When all the churches PA speakers are made by different companies.
When the church is using instrument cables as speaker cables.
When the music is louder than the choir.
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When it's summer and it's hotter in the church than it is outside.
When you have to break the ground off of your good power strip because the church was wired in the late 1800's and doesn't have grounded outlets
If you've ever played the drums with a set of fan handles.
If you've ever made a kick beater out of a wire hanger, a sock, and a rubber band
When there is a set of drum sticks in the piano or organ bench.
If you've had to play for a soloist that by the end of the song had sang in all 12 keys and another 3 that aren't on the keyboard.
When the Leslie volume knob is on 10
When all the churches PA speakers are made by different companies.
When the church is using instrument cables as speaker cables.
When the music is louder than the choir.
1. LOL our drummer left his sticks at home and we had the extra pair in the organ seat....LOL!
2. That happens at my church all the time...LOL!
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when the congregation inadvertently rocks together during praise and worship and if someone is rock the opposite way "they are wrong!" lol
LOL
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When half the congregation act like they can't wait to get out but lingers 40-50 minutes just talking when service is dismissed.
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When you're the last one in the church after service because you're waiting for that envelope.
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...you're on time showing up 30 minutes late.
...people start singing songs from the 1800s, some obscure song no one knows, or some tune they made up and expect you to play it perfectly.
...everybody is a drummer, but only 2 GOOD keys people.
...a fine woman walks in and everybody can tell cuz u start fumbling on the keys a little.
...said woman sits in the front row right by the music corner and ur distracted the entire service.
...the announcements is almost the longest part of the service.
...u gotta bring your own equipment.
When you're the last one in the church after service because you're waiting for that envelope.
LOL!!! U love to bring that one up.
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LOL!
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...you start playing "How Great is Our God" on guitar and everyone sighs and looks at their watches until the keyboard or piano kicks in.
...the organist gets by on a song by playing the same chord throughout.
...your song list includes some revamped versions of some secular hits, mostly from back in the day, that someone at the church revamped.
...you're expected to play some type of music behind everyone who talks.
...you're expected to play whatever song just finished again even if it came from a CD.
...you're given 24 hours, at most, to learn 3 - 5 songs PLUS you're asked to come up with new offering, benediction, and prayer music for that Sunday.
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When at least once a year you have to sit through a congregation mumbling through the verses of "Lift Every Voice" which always climaxes with an impressive "SIIIIIINGGGGGGGGGGG UUUUUUHHHHHHHHH SOOOOOOOOOONGGGGGGGGGGGG".
When you can get through an entire service in one key.
When the musicians are on opposite sides of the church and you have to create a makeshift system of hand communication to signal to each other.
When a musician(s) is blocking some major exit of the sanctuary
When it takes 3 minutes to start up the organ.
When a CD has to be played it is done so with a boombox and a microphone in front of it.
When you come in for an anniversary or other special event and are angered at the fact that someone has put flowers on and or decorated your equipment.
When the PA mixer is in the under the pulpit podium.
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When you come in for an anniversary or other special event and are angered at the fact that someone has put flowers on and or decorated your equipment.
Indeed. I'm still finding glitter on the organ from 2 years ago.
LOL!!! U love to bring that one up.
lolz
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When at least once a year you have to sit through a congregation mumbling through the verses of "Lift Every Voice" which always climaxes with an impressive "SIIIIIINGGGGGGGGGGG UUUUUUHHHHHHHHH SOOOOOOOOOONGGGGGGGGGGGG".
been there
.........
When the musicians are on opposite sides of the church and you have to create a makeshift system of hand communication to signal to each other.
been there
When a musician(s) is blocking some major exit of the sanctuary
been there
........
When a CD has to be played it is done so with a boombox and a microphone in front of it.
been there
..........
When the PA mixer is in the under the pulpit podium.
If sitting on a folding chair next to the liturgist counts, then I'm still livin' that dream!
When the "music" for half the songs are lyrics (no staves or notes)
When those lyrics are hand written
When a lot of the songs that DO have sheet music are played in a key other than the one they're written in.
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LOL! OMG! Have you been at my church???
We are a (no staves or notes) ministry. I notate choir parts, but give them lyrics (and hear complaints when I tell them to memorize them). When I first started many of our Praise Team's chord charts were hand-chorded, and yes, some hand-written.
When your practices tend to be under 30 minutes (songs 2 times through and done).
When people give you the side-eye because you want to spend 1 hour working w/the choir.
When it seems most of the congregation wanders in 15-30 minutes late.
When you go to sing or play and nothing comes out because the sound guy had muted/forgot to turn it on...
:P
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...most or all of the members, regardless of leadership role, are black.
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When you have to act like a bill collector just to get paid.
LOL
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When half the congregation act like they can't wait to get out but lingers 40-50 minutes just talking when service is dismissed.
True!!
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When the person preaching directs his own preaching chords and hits...and you betta be watching or else they call you out!
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When the pastor is preaching, and he tells the congregation he is closing. But he stays up preaching another 30 minutes. And all the brothers looking at their watch saying to themselves. Come on Pastor the game comes on at 3 now. ROFL
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When the pastor is preaching, and he tells the congregation he is closing. But he stays up preaching another 30 minutes. And all the brothers looking at their watch saying to themselves. Come on Pastor the game comes on at 3 now. ROFL
When the pastor says, "In Closing", you come up to play, and instead of an altar call he goes into some funny story for 5-10 minutes...
::)
When he calls up a fellow preacher to 'bless the food' or 'give a short closing prayer' - and his 'short' prayer goes into 10-15 minutes overtime, including a recap of his testimony/overseas mission...
When you're the last one in the church after service because you're waiting for that envelope.
Wait - there's an envelope?!? Why am I always the last to know???
?/?
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Wait - there's an envelope?!? Why am I always the last to know???
?/?
ROFL
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When you're the last one in the church after service because you're waiting for that envelope.
When you're the last one in the church after service because you have to take down your equipment and load it into your vehicle.
When your in the middle of the song for offering collection and you get distracted by the smell of fried chicken wafting up from the Fellowship Hall.
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When you have to act like a bill collector just to get paid.
When you're the last one in the church after service because you're waiting for that envelope.
bitter much?
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bitter much?
LOL
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bitter much?
Nice.
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I heart this thread its
(http://files.sharenator.com/full_of_win_RE_Justin_Bieber_Hit_With_Water_Bottle-s694x530-84974.jpg)
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When the Organist gets paid more than the other musicians.
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When the Organist gets paid more than the other musicians.
LOL, I just got paid for our local AIM conference and I got double the keyboardist, but that's probably because I put in about 40 hrs doing the programs too, LOL!
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You know you a musician in a black church when the singer gets up and tell everybody the sick and the enemy tried to take their voice and to pray or them cuz they are hoarse but then the blow the roof off the building!
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You know you a musician in a black church when the singer gets up and tell everybody the sick and the enemy tried to take their voice and to pray or them cuz they are hoarse but then the blow the roof off the building!
:D :D
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You know you a musician in a black church when the singer gets up and tell everybody the sick and the enemy tried to take their voice and to pray or them cuz they are hoarse but then the blow the roof off the building!
ROFL!!!
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when a singer is a H O T M E S S O F D A Y - O L D G A R B A G E and Mother ________ shouts out, "dats alrite baby, praise Him anyhow!"
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You know you a musician in a black church when the singer gets up and tell everybody they sick and the enemy tried to take their voice and to pray or them cuz they are hoarse but then they blow the roof off the building!
clearly too early in the morning to be typing but it was still funny!! lol...
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clearly too early in the morning to be typing but it was still funny!! lol...
oh Lord.. I re-read this and it was all jacked up...but yall got my point lol!
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You KNOW you are a musician in a black church if you are playing and its get real good and you jump off the instrument to shout and when done you sit back and join in right on point like nothing happened.
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You KNOW you are a musician in a black church if you are playing and its get real good and you jump off the instrument to shout and when done you sit back and join in right on point like nothing happened.
WOW lol I wish it happened like that with our keyboard player. Shoot we're normally long finished before he ever comes to lol
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WOW lol I wish it happened like that with our keyboard player. Shoot we're normally long finished before he ever comes to lol
:D :D :D
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You KNOW you are a musician in a black church if you are playing and its get real good and you jump off the instrument to shout and when done you sit back and join in right on point like nothing happened.
Yeah, but if you do that as a drummer, somebody done slid in behind you and grabbed the sticks from your hand, lol.
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Yeah, but if you do that as a drummer, somebody done slid in behind you and grabbed the sticks from your hand, lol.
tis is very true
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tis is very true
true true indeed
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When you have to act like a bill collector just to get paid.
you are serious about your money huh? lol
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you are serious about your money huh? lol
Yes.
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When guest musicians stomp on your organ pedals causing several notes to be stuck
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When they got a picture of Black Jesus over the choir stand.
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When they got a picture of Black Jesus over the choir stand.
LOL @ Black Jesus...no way!! :D
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You know you are a musician in a black church when other musicians try to get you to come to their church and come to your church as pretty much scouts!
You know you are a musician in a black church when you playing and the drummer is off beat so you nodding your head extra hard and stomping your foot trying to get him on beat.
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When guest musicians stomp on your organ pedals causing several notes to be stuck
......when Db, Eb, and Ab on the organ pedals are constantly stuck.
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When they got a picture of Black Jesus over the choir stand.
When pics of MLK and Pres. Obama are next to HIM in the Pastor's office...
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When pics of MLK and Pres. Obama are next to HIM in the Pastor's office...
when said are all next to elephants and triangles............DST 1913!
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You know you are a musician in a black church when other musicians try to get you to come to their church and come to your church as pretty much scouts!
You know you are a musician in a black church when you playing and the drummer is off beat so you nodding your head extra hard and stomping your foot trying to get him on beat.
I be about to snap my neck trying to get the drummer to pick it up and stop dragging. And when we follow the preacher, I gotta snap it again to get him to be with one accord, lol.
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......when Db, Eb, and Ab on the organ pedals are constantly stuck.
lol
When the Singer says to put them in the key of E, and the organist makes a weird face and puts them in E flat instead.
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can't do that at my church no more..they come hunt ya down! lol
good :D
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lol
When the Singer says to put them in the key of E, and the organist makes a weird face and puts them in E flat instead.
Guilty.
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I be about to snap my neck trying to get the drummer to pick it up and stop dragging. And when we follow the preacher, I gotta snap it again to get him to be with one accord, lol.
And get mad when they choose to stay at the same WRONG tempo.. I be about to throw my shoe across the church!
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when someone starts shout at an odd time in service and you run back to your instrument to play shout music hoping to jump in before they are done
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I be about to snap my neck trying to get the drummer to pick it up and stop dragging. And when we follow the preacher, I gotta snap it again to get him to be with one accord, lol.
Sometimes I feel those draggin' drummers should be taken out, and, well...tied to a metronome.
When the Singer says to put them in the key of E, and the organist makes a weird face and puts them in E flat instead.
I think it must be an immutable Organ Law somewhere that says, "At no time shall the Organist consent to play in a Guitar-friendly key"
;)
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Sometimes I feel those draggin' drummers should be taken out, and, well...tied to a metronome.
I think it must be an immutable Organ Law somewhere that says, "At no time shall the Organist consent to play in a Guitar-friendly key"
;)
whats worse draggin or playing toooooooo fast behind you when preaching?
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when someone starts shout at an odd time in service and you run back to your instrument to play shout music hoping to jump in before they are done
LOL, and in my case that includes turning the organ back on, because we haven't fixed that loud hum, so we have to turn it off during the quieter parts of the service, lol. Sometimes I feel those draggin' drummers should be taken out, and, well...tied to a metronome.
LOL, indeed! We have one who is a pretty sick drummer, but I swear once he starts at a tempo, he cannot change it. I try my best to make sure we start right so we won't have to speed up or slow down, because then it becomes an all out war in the middle of service, lol... with the choir shooting glances and making signals, the director, me... he's ready to have a breakdown by the time that's over, lol.
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You know you play for a black church when any random body feels compelled to direct/instruct the musicians during a service. Tryna tell you when to break, etc.
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LOL!
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LOL, and in my case that includes turning the organ back on, because we haven't fixed that loud hum, so we have to turn it off during the quieter parts of the service, lol. LOL, indeed!
If it is basiclly a "Bb" hum it has bad capacitors in the power supply. A fairly easy fix (had to replace in both of my A-100s built in 1959). Is silent now.
I was driving my sound guy nuts.
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If it is basiclly a "Bb" hum it has bad capacitors in the power supply. A fairly easy fix (had to replace in both of my A-100s built in 1959). Is silent now.
I was driving my sound guy nuts.
LOL @ Bb hum....
you know you are a musician in a black church when you give the hum of your instrument a key!
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When the choir director never learns the correct titles of the song and you have to guess what song they are talking about
Living on top of the world => Back to Eden
Searched all over => Nobody Greater
We worship You => Lord You are Good
You ain't seen nothing yet => The best is yet to come
I'm better, stronger, faster, wiser => Never would have made it.
Keep fighting => It ain't over
I pray for you, You pray for me => I need you to survive OR Be blessed
Watch God change things => Be blessed
"That one song that we sung that one time at that one place => ????????????? ?/?
"That song that goes Ba da DAAAHHH DA Ba DAAAAH Ddaa ba da ba da bum bUUUUUHHHHH" => Souled Out
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When the choir director never learns the correct titles of the song and you have to guess what song they are talking about
Living on top of the world => Back to Eden
Searched all over => Nobody Greater
We worship You => Lord You are Good
You ain't seen nothing yet => The best is yet to come
I'm better, stronger, faster, wiser => Never would have made it.
Keep fighting => It ain't over
I pray for you, You pray for me => I need you to survive OR Be blessed
Watch God change things => Be blessed
"That one song that we sung that one time at that one place => ????????????? ?/?
"That song that goes Ba da DAAAHHH DA Ba DAAAAH Ddaa ba da ba da bum bUUUUUHHHHH" => Souled Out
STOMACH CRAMP!!! :D :D :D :D :D ROTDL
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When the choir director never learns the correct titles of the song and you have to guess what song they are talking about
Living on top of the world => Back to Eden
Searched all over => Nobody Greater
We worship You => Lord You are Good
You ain't seen nothing yet => The best is yet to come
I'm better, stronger, faster, wiser => Never would have made it.
Keep fighting => It ain't over
I pray for you, You pray for me => I need you to survive OR Be blessed
Watch God change things => Be blessed
"That one song that we sung that one time at that one place => ????????????? ?/?
"That song that goes Ba da DAAAHHH DA Ba DAAAAH Ddaa ba da ba da bum bUUUUUHHHHH" => Souled Out
*________*
We have just a praise and worship team and that is my mom all the way! And each time, you'll hear me echoing her with the right title. LOL!
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If it is basiclly a "Bb" hum it has bad capacitors in the power supply. A fairly easy fix (had to replace in both of my A-100s built in 1959). Is silent now.
I was driving my sound guy nuts.
Good to know. I'll have to see if we can get someone to come out and fix it. When the choir director never learns the correct titles of the song and you have to guess what song they are talking about
Living on top of the world => Back to Eden
Searched all over => Nobody Greater
We worship You => Lord You are Good
You ain't seen nothing yet => The best is yet to come
I'm better, stronger, faster, wiser => Never would have made it.
Keep fighting => It ain't over
I pray for you, You pray for me => I need you to survive OR Be blessed
Watch God change things => Be blessed
"That one song that we sung that one time at that one place => ????????????? ?/?
"That song that goes Ba da DAAAHHH DA Ba DAAAAH Ddaa ba da ba da bum bUUUUUHHHHH" => Souled Out
Yes! MOMs everywhere must vow not to concern themselves with knowing correct titles of songs, lol.
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*________*
We have just a praise and worship team and that is my mom all the way! And each time, you'll hear me echoing her with the right title. LOL!
Just so we're clear...it's my mother and not MOM. :D :D :D
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when said are all next to elephants and triangles............DST 1913!
ROFL!!!
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Just so we're clear...it's my mother and not MOM. :D :D :D
LOL, I thought your mom was the MOM... :D
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When you tense up every time you see a "solo" on the program because you never know WHAT Keisha 'gone get up there and bust out with.
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LOL, I thought your mom was the MOM... :D
I guess you could say that my mom is technically the MOM, but mom doesn't have the MOM title.
...internship.
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Good to know. I'll have to see if we can get someone to come out and fix it. Yes! MOMs everywhere must vow not to concern themselves with knowing correct titles of songs, lol.
NEGATIVE! I know the correct title of EVERY song we sing. It's the singers that don't know what I'm talking about so I have to do it in reverse:
Lift Him Up --Give him the highest praise
Hallelujah -- There is a praise in my heart and I've got to get it out
?/? :-\
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...when there's a soloist named Keisha.
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When there's microphone feedback in the speakers and the organist plays the same note as the feedback.
...when there's a soloist named Keisha.
and she has to keep pulling down her skirt, cuz it's too short
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When you're playing for a guest choir and you ask the director what key they're singing the song in, and she says "High". (<--- this happened to me)
You know you're a musician in a black BAPTIST church when the male chorus sings Lee William's latest hit, and the women of the church go IN like they're at a Gap Band concert.
You know you're a musician in a black BAPTIST church when the deacon who led that Lee Williams song starts smelling himself after it's over. Suddenly he's a local star and can't sing unless his "demands" are met.
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When the choir director thinks because you played a song once before. 4 months ago if they pull it out the hat last min during service you should know....
When you can't remember chords. To a song requested so you under the piano use your phone to search LGM to find the chords
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Just so we're clear...it's my mother and not MOM. :D :D :D
PWAAHAHAHA!!!
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When you have to hurry and pack up all the equipment off after the benediction so Paulina's bad children don't run over and start banging on stuff.
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When you have to hurry and pack up all the equipment off after the benediction so Paulina's bad children don't run over and start banging on stuff.
True!
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...you ask a musician what key he/she is playing in, and they reply with "+3" (or something like that). And I'm like +3 from what? SMH!!!
...you can't play UNLESS you transpose.
...musicians set-up all they equipment and stuff for one (or two) song(s). Then after they done, commence to tearing down the equipment while the service is still going on.
...a choir gets up and sings a song you're choir was gonna sing. So, when it's your time to sing, instead of choosing a different song, u do the same one.
...you barely tap the plug in the keyboard and it makes all kinds of noise. And it always happens during a quiet time in service, so you know the whole church stares at you.
...even if the church is empty, the musician corner is thick.
...you play a song (the right way) behind a guest choir or soloist, and they look at you strange because that's not how they do it at they church. Really???
When you tense up every time you see a "solo" on the program because you never know WHAT Keisha 'gone get up there and bust out with.
THIS!!!
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When you're at a "choir day" or concert and, after the last choir exits the stand and your choir is taking the stand, your director leans over and tells you "let's show them how it's done."
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I think it must be an immutable Organ Law somewhere that says, "At no time shall the Organist consent to play in a Guitar-friendly key"
;)
And the venerable T-Block quoteth (once again ;-) )
..you can't play UNLESS you transpose.
LOL Hey guitar players get a capo, I caint find one for my Hammond LOL. We actually do quite a few songs in "A" and "E"
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When each guest choir for choir day leaves after their turn is over.
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When each guest choir for choir day leaves after their turn is over.
Guilty
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When each guest choir for choir day leaves after their turn is over.
The. worst.
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When drummers try to set up after service begins.
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the fist lady and the ushers take a smoke break.
when you go feeling fine, and leave with head or neck pain.
when nobody is around to catch whoever is slain in the spirit
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When the musicians (male) are wearing skinny jeans..a sweater vest and a bow tie.. None of which matches each other
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When you're a dude sitting next to a female, and the preacher makes you "touch your neighbor" so much that she has to go take a pregnancy test afterward.
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When you're a dude sitting next to a female, and the preacher makes you "touch your neighbor" so much that she has to go take a pregnancy test afterward.
;D ;D ;D
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When you start as a member of the youth choir, start to play drums, then elevate to an organist, then to a minister of music, then to being a preacher and then pastoring a church.....LOL!
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...during shouting music, as soon as you play that certain "chord" or "break", people that been sitting just watching other people suddenly jump up as if the Spirit just hit em.
...after that same break, they sit down like that was their moment for the service.
...you hear/play the same songs every Sunday.
...there are multiple offerings and you have to pick a song that you can keep going through all of em.
When you start as a member of the youth choir, start to play drums, then elevate to an organist, then to a minister of music, then to being a preacher and then pastoring a church.....LOL!
...when all that happens in less than a year. LOL!!!
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...during shouting music, as soon as you play that certain "chord" or "break", people that been sitting just watching other people suddenly jump up as if the Spirit just hit em.
LOL! Ok I have been wondering for sooooo long why after you play a certain "chord" or "praise break song" more folk begin to just get up. Like one Sunday we were shouting and stuff and as soon as I played "I.....I got a praise" the praise broke out like it was an old-fashioned pentecostal revival service....SMH!!
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Harmony is rhythm. that chord just does something to your heart, man...
Deep
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...when they play "Lord you are Good" in E-flat >:( >:( >:(
...when you have a ding, scratch or nick on your instrument due to some little kid running up after service touching your stuff and making it tip over
...(someone said this before) when members from the congregation try to direct the musicians.
...while in the middle of a shout you suddenly get hit in your back...followed by "you betta play boy!!!"
...when there are "after service" shed sessions
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when you play a phat chord or a nice run and someone throws their hankerchief or towel at you....
When the offering song is Blessed In the City with your own twist
when drummers fight over who's Sunday it is to play.......................
when one drummers wins but doesn't know the songs.......................
when there is a store bought lamp clipped onto your keyboard because the corner they put you in has no good lighting
when the choir sings a song so long that your fingers begin to cramp and you have to start doing the stevie wonder lean
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.....if people go ABSOLUTLY BAL-FREAKING-LISTIC if a kid touches the brown "in rememberance of me" table.
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when you play a phat chord or a nice run and someone throws their hankerchief or towel at you....
I've been in CCM, predominantly white churches for a long time. In my current church, this lady freaked me out one time when she did combination of ^^^that and Gibby's "You betta play that!" Chick came out of nowhere. I'm looking down, then I look up and see her in my face and hitting me with her hanky. It's on tape. Hillarious! :D :D :D
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When each guest choir for choir day leaves after their turn is over.
This when your choir is a big choir and made up most of the congregation.
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When each guest choir for choir day leaves after their turn is over.
Happens all the time, especially if the offering has already been collected....LOL!
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You know you're in a black church when you didnt start playin in E, A or B until Israel's songs blew up.
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Happens all the time, especially if the offering has already been collected....LOL!
More like if the offering HASN'T been collected! LOL
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I've been in CCM, predominantly white churches for a long time. In my current church, this lady freaked me out one time when she did combination of ^^^that and Gibby's "You betta play that!" Chick came out of nowhere. I'm looking down, then I look up and see her in my face and hitting me with her hanky. It's on tape. Hillarious! :D :D :D
I've seen that kinda stuff for years, but it wasn't until recently that I realized how embarrassing that can be for most musicians. I guess the arrogant ones love the attention, but if you're humble or even just NOT arrogant, that can be really embarrassing. I remember this lady was singing a solo and GGFZ she was killing it... and an elder ran from about 7 rows back right up to her and started "slapping" her back and forth with a $20 bill. She kept singing, but she was visibly startled by it, uncomfortable, and worst of all, it kinda took her out of the spirit.
I don't know why we do stuff like that. It's funny but... :D :-\
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You know you're in a black church when you didnt start playin in E, A or B until Israel's songs blew up.
THIS....
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You know you're in a black church when you didnt start playin in E, A or B until Israel's songs blew up.
You know you're in a black church when you change "You Are Good" to Eb so you can play it better. *Lifts Guilty Hands to the Lord*
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*Fixed that for ya...
(I'm guilty on the drummers part. But I usually am able to keep it up after a verse and chorus. Sometimes I could swear (but I don't swear) that she's playing it waaay faster than usual, though...)
...when the keyboardist insists on playing introductory chords to a fast tempo song at a slow "contemplative" tempo while the PT leader is introducing it, and keeps it going until the second repetition of the first verse...
...and then turns around bobbing their head all hard like it's the drummer's fault.
...when the singers are locked into that tempo, and the keyboardist keeps bobbing their head at the drummer, who's just trying to stay with the lead singer/director, who is directing the tempo with his hand.
When the drummer doesn't get to set the tempo with an "over-the-head stick-click" (How come all the "rock band" churches get to do it? :()
When the flashy bassist doesn't lock in with the keyboardists hits, causing the drummer to have to choose between locking in with the keyboardist(and the singers) or with the bassist, who's all by himself.
That tempo thing happened to me on the drums with "How Great Is Our God" except it was the song leader who started slow and then started looking at me and the keyboardist to pick it up on the chorus, but everybody kept singing slow... LOL!
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You know you're in a black church when you change "You Are Good" to Eb so you can play it better. *Lifts Guilty Hands to the Lord*
Okay, I see someone covered this. I don't have a guitarist, so I didn't realize it's an organ/guitar battle, LOL. *Goes back to practicing it in E*
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I've seen that kinda stuff for years, but it wasn't until recently that I realized how embarrassing that can be for most musicians. I guess the arrogant ones love the attention, but if you're humble or even just NOT arrogant, that can be really embarrassing. I remember this lady was singing a solo and GGFZ she was killing it... and an elder ran from about 7 rows back right up to her and started "slapping" her back and forth with a $20 bill. She kept singing, but she was visibly startled by it, uncomfortable, and worst of all, it kinda took her out of the spirit.
I don't know why we do stuff like that. It's funny but... :D :-\
wait....he slapped her with 20 dollars?
(http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lipttzNBa61qbq4v6o1_400.gif)
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When the Choir lines up to sing and takes 1/2 the congregation with them...
When you start service with a faithful few and look up after a few songs to a full house...most people tipping in 15-30 min. LATE...
(BTW, this is not true of all Black churches...once visited a local AME, got lost on the way and I was the one late - had to be ushered in, with everyone else in their seats) :-[
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When drummers try to set up after service begins.
LOLOL YO my bro has that problem. Everytime we go to a guest church, he has to adjust EVERYTHING to his liking. Sometimes Im stuck playin intro chords before the choir starts singing.
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When the church administrator begs the members to be on time for the Pastor's Anniversary service Thursday night, and adds that we invited the baptist churches on Thursday and you know they show up early, LOL!
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wait....he slapped her with 20 dollars?
([url]http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lipttzNBa61qbq4v6o1_400.gif[/url])
Yep, but not across her face, it was back and forth across her shoulders.
SMH.
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Didnt know it was that serious for drummers.
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When drummers try to set up after service begins.
Funny.....I haven't actually SEEN you at our service, but obviously you've been there.
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When the church administrator begs the members to be on time for the Pastor's Anniversary service Thursday night, and adds that we invited the baptist churches on Thursday and you know they show up early, LOL!
Yo, I promise this just happened at my church. :D
Playing on an unadjusted drum-set is like trying to play a guitar that's setup for high action with a Gibson scale-length, classical shaped neck, and 12s... fingerstyle, when you're used to playing low action with a Fender scale length, a thin neck, and 9s with a pick.
I'm willing to bet that there are only about 3 or 4 people on here who actually understood this. Unfortunately, I'm not one of em. :o
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...when babies walk down the aisle during a sermon
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...when babies walk down the aisle during a sermon
lol
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Funny.....I haven't actually SEEN you at our service, but obviously you've been there.
:D :D :D :D
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...when babies walk down the aisle during a sermon
My goodness, bruh! Yessssss! :D :D :D
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...when babies walk down the aisle during a sermon
ROFL!!!
yes so true ROFL!!!
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...when babies walk down the aisle during a sermon
...and everybody just sitting there letting him/her walk.
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...when babies walk down the aisle during a sermon
Hahaha! I was at an African church recently, and two babies in particular were all over the place. Nobody was doing anything. In fact, one seemed to really like my friend sitting next to me, and she held him and talked to him for a little while, lol. Then she put him down and he continued his tour of the center aisle :D
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.......
You know you are a musician in a black church when everyone congratulates you on your amazing bass playing... but you play the guitar. >:-(
Flip that and you have my experience.
MoM: Mr. Martin, can I count on you to bring your guitar to rehearsal?
Me: How 'bout if I bring my bass?
MoM: That would be fine, too.
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Flip that and you have my experience.
MoM: Mr. Martin, can I count on you to bring your guitar to rehearsal?
Me: How 'bout if I bring my bass?
MoM: That would be fine, too.
:D :D :D :D :D :D
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Flip that and you have my experience.
MoM: Mr. Martin, can I count on you to bring your guitar to rehearsal?
Me: How 'bout if I bring my bass?
MoM: That would be fine, too.
ROFL
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NEGATIVE! I know the correct title of EVERY song we sing. It's the singers that don't know what I'm talking about so I have to do it in reverse:
Lift Him Up --Give him the highest praise
Hallelujah -- There is a praise in my heart and I've got to get it out
?/? :-\
ROFL
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You know you are a musician in a black church when you ask someone to sing a solo and they act like they don't want to sing it so you ask somebody else and they get mad
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YKYAIABCW........(A three parter...)
........a visitor that is a singer just happens to visit for fellowship and they get called outa nowhere to sing a solo.
........and when they indicate they just came to fellowship, the asker BECOMES INSISTENT.......
........and then the pull out I WONT COMPLAIN.
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YKYAIBCW:
...It takes 10 people to count $200
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YKYAIBCW:
...It takes 10 people to count $200
And they get it right most of the time.
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.....when an auxiliary that's been planning an event for months calls you the day before the event to ask you to move "them speakers and a microphone" (aka - the PA System) from the sanctuary to the Fellowship Hall.
.....when every auxiliary in the church declines your offer to show them how to use the PA System, your repeated, but vain attempt to avoid continued occurences of the above.
(can anybody guess who I just got off the phone with? ) >:( >:( >:(
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you have to chain the snare drums.
when the offering is collected more than once.
when you know you're preaching right before they call you to preach.
when you get tired of seeing George Washington.
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you have to chain the snare drums.
and it's a piccolo.
when the offering is collected more than once.
and they say "do yer best, do yer best"
when you know you're preaching right before they call you to preach.
...and they say "be ye also ready"....holy out of context Batman.
when you get tired of seeing George Washington.
....so you look at martin luther king on the fans from the funeral home.
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When the church service starts at 10, but they dont get started till 10:30.
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Didnt know it was that serious for drummers.
LOL Yo me too. Ay man I apologize :-)
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YKYAAMIABCW - The older deacon leading devotion always come in a beat early off of the turn around from "This Little Light of Mine". :)
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When your MOM always comes to rehearsal unprepared but gets mad at you when you haven't learned one of 50 songs she's thrown at you and then forgot about, and then brought back up on a whim.
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When your MOM always comes to rehearsal unprepared but gets mad at you when you haven't learned one of 50 songs she's thrown at you and then forgot about, and then brought back up on a whim.
...OTN, when they throw a song(s) at you at rehearsal and get mad because you don't know it (them).
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when you practice 10 songs give by the director and then the day of rehearsal they don't do any of them
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When you play on a janky organ because the church wont pay for it to get fixed.
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......when you play on a Hammond M-series spinet.
...with the "boom-chikka-boom-doink" drum machine.
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......when you play on a Hammond M-series spinet.
...with the "boom-chikka-boom-doink" drum machine.
I'm SO glad you said this. I saw this at a baptist church here locally, and I didn't know such an animal even existed! I was trying to see what he was doing, lol. Now it all makes sense.
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ykyaamiabcw the choir is singing and you forget the song while playing so you just play some passing chords or some hits knowing you jacked it all up but after the service people tell you how well you played..........
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when you play for another church and they hand you an envelope saying "I hope this will bless you, thanks for coming" and when you get to the car its only 10 dollars....
after praise and worship you are sleepy!
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ykyaamiabcw
This looks like the "typing in tongues" controversy all over again... lol.
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This looks like the "typing in tongues" controversy all over again... lol.
LOL I stole that from someone else...it beats writing all of it out lol
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When there's toilet tissue electric taped to the bass drum.
When there's 5 chairs, 5 drummers next to the drums waiting in line for the next song.
When the organist tries to start every song in C sharp.
When one person is shouting and another runs next to them hand on shoulder and starts shouting as well.
When at least one musician has grown dreads since Tye Tribbet became popular.
When someone's playing a tambourine that's missing everything except the wood and skin.
When you have to put a piece of paper between the organ key to make it work.
When your youth choir's first dress code was black and white.
When there was always one girl who seemed to lead every song.
When the organist throws up hand signal 5 during a shout which always leads into hand signal 2.
When a 6 minutes of a 7 minute shout is all breaks.
When people say "Thank Yah for taking me over the highways and byways" during testimony service.
When you've heard the phrase "pray for me as I pray for you in these last and evil days".
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YES!!!
I'm guilty of C Sharp... it was the first key I learned, and still the most comfortable. Given a choice, that's where we're going, lol.
I'm dying at the paper in between the keys, I saw that at my godmom's church in Salt Lake... LOL!
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When there's toilet tissue electric taped to the bass drum.
When there's 5 chairs, 5 drummers next to the drums waiting in line for the next song.
When the organist tries to start every song in C sharp.
When one person is shouting and another runs next to them hand on shoulder and starts shouting as well.
When at least one musician has grown dreads since Tye Tribbet became popular.
When someone's playing a tambourine that's missing everything except the wood and skin.
When you have to put a piece of paper between the organ key to make it work.
When your youth choir's first dress code was black and white.
When there was always one girl who seemed to lead every song.
When the organist throws up hand signal 5 during a shout which always leads into hand signal 2.
When a 6 minutes of a 7 minute shout is all breaks.
Nice list there brother. Great way to start off your LGM fellowship Glad to have you as a member. WELCOME although it shows your regi in 2008
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When there's toilet tissue electric taped to the bass drum.
When there's 5 chairs, 5 drummers next to the drums waiting in line for the next song.
When the organist tries to start every song in C sharp.
When one person is shouting and another runs next to them hand on shoulder and starts shouting as well.
When at least one musician has grown dreads since Tye Tribbet became popular.When someone's playing a tambourine that's missing everything except the wood and skin.
When you have to put a piece of paper between the organ key to make it work.
When your youth choir's first dress code was black and white.
When there was always one girl who seemed to lead every song.
When the organist throws up hand signal 5 during a shout which always leads into hand signal 2.
When a 6 minutes of a 7 minute shout is all breaks.
LOL at the bolded but LOL at all the cracks on organists!
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Nice list there brother. Great way to start off your LGM fellowship Glad to have you as a member. WELCOME although it shows your regi in 2008
Thanks for the welcome.
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Thanks for the welcome.
No problem I'm hoping that'll help me climb up the LGM ranks a lil bit LOL and if it does I'll make sure you get a shout out LOL (just ignore me I'm hopeless) SMH
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When a 6 minutes of a 7 minute shout is all breaks.
HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, and did I say HATE praise breaks like this. >:( >:( >:( >:(
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When you're playing the song correctly while the pastor is singing incorrectly but he snaps and tells you you're supposed to follow him (David Ruffin style) LOL
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When all the "good" choir robes have people's names on the inside of the collar.........and NONE of those people are members anymore.
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when you're playing some some nice chords and they bust out in an old song that ruins the atmosphere.
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...when babies walk down the aisle during a sermon
Where I visited sunday, walked right up to the pulpit & stood close to my wife who was speaking, all I could think of was this thread ?/?
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when you're playing some some nice chords and they bust out in an old song that ruins the atmosphere.
Yo, my mom does that ALL the doggone time. Gets on my last nerve! >:(
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...when people are competing in the "Amen Corner"
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when you're playing some some nice chords and they bust out in an old song that ruins the atmosphere.
LOL! They probably call it "setting" the atmosphere, lol.
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When you are playing an upbeat song and two members are having a tambourine battle!! Shame!
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The song for offering is STILL "You Cant Beat God's Giving" ?/?
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When you are playing an upbeat song and two members are having a tambourine battle!! Shame!
The song for offering is STILL "You Cant Beat God's Giving" ?/?
LMBO!!!
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The song for offering is STILL "You Cant Beat God's Giving" ?/?
HAHAHAHAHA!!!! It may still be that song at my dad's church...
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Where I visited sunday, walked right up to the pulpit & stood close to my wife who was speaking, all I could think of was this thread ?/?
:D :D :D
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Yo, my mom does that ALL the doggone time. Gets on my last nerve! >:(
LOL
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When the choir director stops the choir and breaks up the congregation in 3 part harmony during a song and tell them to sing...or by sections
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When the choir director stops the choir and breaks up the congregation in 3 part harmony during a song and tell them to sing...or by sections
You're either at a black church or a Donnie McClurkin concert, lol.
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You're either at a black church or a Donnie McClurkin concert, lol.
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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When you can sing a million new songs with great words and ministry but nothing gets church going like the old praise pattern! SMH!
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Loving all these! ..and even though i'm a musician in a 'black church' i'm not going to add to this :)
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Loving all these! ..and even though i'm a musician in a 'black church' i'm not going to add to this :)
LOL! Feel free...
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When you're in an Apostolic church and as soon as someone says the word "Witch", the church goes UP!!!!!!! What is this fascination with witches and warlocks?
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When you're in an Apostolic church and as soon as someone says the word "Witch", the church goes UP!!!!!!! What is this fascination with witches and warlocks?
??? I guess us baptist folk wouldnt understand ?/?
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When as soon as someone gets elevated in the church they add their new title to their Facebook name.
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When as soon as someone gets elevated in the church they add their new title to their Facebook name.
Or before...
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??? I guess us baptist folk wouldnt understand ?/?
+1
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When as soon as someone gets elevated in the church they add their new title to their Facebook name.
YO HOW ANNOYING IS THAT.
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When you're tired of turning to your neighbor.
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When you have one of these in your church (https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/299901_1559155500952_1297201345_31330009_113526372_n.jpg)
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When you have one of these in your church (https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/299901_1559155500952_1297201345_31330009_113526372_n.jpg)
UN-believable.
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wow .... ROFL!
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Or before...
I agree with the above poster.
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YO....THAT LIST IS KINDA LOOOOOONG HOMIE......
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When you're tired of turning to your neighbor.
Slap three people and tell them "SHONDO!!!!"
LOL!!! :D
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When there is a mother of the church who sleeps every Sunday! but nods amen to the sermon periodically
when the pastor is preaching to some nice preaching chords and sound like somebody trying to drown him under water
When someone tells you "that's now how the last musician played"
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When half the musicians have mohawks or dreads.
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When you're wearing a conservative black suit and you look out of place because all the other men are wearing yellow bow ties, pink shirts, polka-dot shoes, brown vest, and green pants that are a size too small.
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When you're wearing a conservative black suit and you look out of place because all the other men are wearing yellow bow ties, pink shirts, polka-dot shoes, brown vest, and green pants that are a size too small.
You are killin me TJ LOL seriously
and along the same lines: When 95% of the men in the church don't know how to where a suit
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When your choir director is flaming.
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When you're wearing a conservative black suit and you look out of place because all the other men are wearing yellow bow ties, pink shirts, polka-dot shoes, brown vest, and green pants that are a size too small.
(http://www.midwestsportsfans.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/mj-laughing.gif)
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When you're wearing a conservative black suit and you look out of place because all the other men are wearing yellow bow ties, pink shirts, polka-dot shoes, brown vest, and green pants that are a size too small.
LOL!!! I don't know what some people be thinking!
A speaker brought her musician with her this past Saturday and dude had on a bubble coat. That's fine, but he played with the bubble coat on the ENTIRE time :D :-\. I know dude's arms were super moist, especially after playing intense shouting music lol. Then asked for cold water. Take that heavy behind coat off!!
:D
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LOL!!! I don't know what some people be thinking!
A speaker brought her musician with her this past Saturday and dude had on a bubble coat. That's fine, but he played with the bubble coat on the ENTIRE time :D :-\. I know dude's arms were super moist, especially after playing intense shouting music lol. Then asked for cold water. Take that heavy behind coat off!!
:D
Youtube poop: Seinfeld ~ George buys the wine (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RqXgdzIC7r4#noexternalembed)
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When you're wearing a conservative black suit and you look out of place because all the other men are wearing yellow bow ties, pink shirts, polka-dot shoes, brown vest, and green pants that are a size too small.
Speaking of GMWA.....and James Hall anniversary concerts...
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When you step inside and it looks like you've just walked into a Mad Hatters convention.
(http://www.bravotv.com/media/imagecache/photo-scaled/images/the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills-season-1-gallery-episode-104-12.jpg)
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TJ, if you think you've seen anything, you really need to visit a church in Bklyn. Pretty much any church will do.
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When the church is across from a fish shack, yet you walk in and the Bishop is dressed like this:
(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_bRVwCUPQIlI/TJj5LqUcmWI/AAAAAAAAALQ/DrMVAUt_SQQ/s320/032608-pope-benedict-xvi.jpg)
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When the church is across from a fish shack, yet you walk in and the Bishop is dressed like this:
([url]http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_bRVwCUPQIlI/TJj5LqUcmWI/AAAAAAAAALQ/DrMVAUt_SQQ/s320/032608-pope-benedict-xvi.jpg[/url])
#dead
Tizzy is on a roll.
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...2 people show up for choir rehearsal, but then Sunday morning the other 25 members show up ready to sing. >:(
...you've ever had to sit through a 15-minute prayer.
...the whole church stops and stands up when the bishop enters.
...the bishop is ALWAYS late, but leaves early.
...service ain't good til that old church mother starts rocking.
...you've ever heard the phrase "caught the Holy Ghost".
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You know you're in a BAPTIST church when the people don't shout, they "get happy".
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When they make everybody get up to give their offering so they can see who gives and who doesn't.
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You know you're in a BAPTIST church when the people don't shout, they "get happy".
:D :D :D :D
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When the church is across from a fish shack, yet you walk in and the Bishop is dressed like this:
([url]http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_bRVwCUPQIlI/TJj5LqUcmWI/AAAAAAAAALQ/DrMVAUt_SQQ/s320/032608-pope-benedict-xvi.jpg[/url])
MAn can you say Chicago LOL
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When you have to hurry and pack up all the equipment off after the benediction so Paulina's bad children don't run over and start banging on stuff.
You are truly a musician in the black church because that drives me crazy!
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It's ok to whip your kid during service!-Spyda Mike
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...When you go out to eat afterward. - ...When the MOM, or some other MM leader w/ some say so, suggests "jazzing up" hymn music (not lyrics) because s/he doesn't want to teach/learn new songs. - ...When you have to play the chorus of Stevie Wonder's "Happy Birthday" whenever some one gets a bday shout out from the pulpit.
-
...When you go out to eat afterward. -
I'm Done -_-!
...When the black people try to take the food and the musicians come running only to be given scraps. "Why am I so skinny momment"!
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...When you have to play the chorus of Stevie Wonder's "Happy Birthday" whenever some one gets a bday shout out from the pulpit.
umm.....
*twiddles thumbs*
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When your church is a storefront and only seats 40, but it's called a cathedral.
(http://www.thinkchristian.net/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/cathedral.jpg)
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you know you're in a black church when the lead vocalist is trying to direct the band but doesn't know the words to the song.... :-\
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LOL!!! I don't know what some people be thinking!
A speaker brought her musician with her this past Saturday and dude had on a bubble coat. That's fine, but he played with the bubble coat on the ENTIRE time :D :-\. I know dude's arms were super moist, especially after playing intense shouting music lol. Then asked for cold water. Take that heavy behind coat off!!
:D
LOL!!!! When you're wearing a conservative black suit and you look out of place because all the other men are wearing yellow bow ties, pink shirts, polka-dot shoes, brown vest, and green pants that are a size too small.
We hosted a group from Vegas back in June, and I swear, the lead singer had on jeans so skinny I could hardly pay attention to what they were singing. And the drummer, with his fine self, looked like his shirt was made of a red and white picnic table cloth. I KNEW he was the drummer when he walked in the door, lol.
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When your church is a storefront and only seats 40, but it's called a cathedral.
([url]http://www.thinkchristian.net/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/cathedral.jpg[/url])
DUDE....NOOOOOOOO.....
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LOL!!!! We hosted a group from Vegas back in June, and I swear, the lead singer had on jeans so skinny I could hardly pay attention to what they were singing. And the drummer, with his fine self, looked like his shirt was made of a red and white picnic table cloth. I KNEW he was the drummer when he walked in the door, lol.
The drummer is normally the coolest cat in the group or at least they think so.
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...there are 4 tenors, 3 sopranos, and 15 altos in the choir.
TROOF!! I just can't figure out how the biggest section of a choir gets drowned out by the smallest section. SMH!
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TROOF!! I just can't figure out how the biggest section of a choir gets drowned out by the smallest section. SMH!
It's because they don't have the range to be a soprano but they don't have the ear to be an alto. :-\
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TROOF!! I just can't figure out how the biggest section of a choir gets drowned out by the smallest section. SMH!
LOL! We have that problem too. Our young adult choir has declined in the last couple of years (mainly because many left when the pastor left plus some other issues....) and we have like 2 sopranos, 2 tenors and like 11 altos.....SMH!!!
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when someone from the congregation yells "Yall sound like real LIFE angels" during the choir's selection...which so happens to be acapella
when someone claps when the preacher says "I'm closing"...for the third time
when someone tries picks up a church bench when they are shouting
when the people form the circle lock around people who are shouting and then one of them start shouting and the circle has to revamp!
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TROOF!! I just can't figure out how the biggest section of a choir gets drowned out by the smallest section. SMH!
Always...I think its the more comfortable tone
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It's because they don't have the range to be a soprano but they don't have the ear to be an alto. :-\
So... Maybe the choir is not their ministry? LOL!
LOL @ revamping the circle... PWA!
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You know you're in a BAPTIST church when the male chorus sings "In Times Like These" and the women LOSE IT, yelling and screaming and rolling on the ground as if shots have just been fired. This happened at my church yesterday.
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You know you're in a BAPTIST church when the male chorus sings "In Times Like These" and the women LOSE IT, yelling and screaming and rolling on the ground as if shots have just been fired. This happened at my church yesterday.
:D :D :D :D :D :D
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You know you're in a BAPTIST church when the male chorus sings "In Times Like These" and the women LOSE IT, yelling and screaming and rolling on the ground as if shots have just been fired. This happened at my church yesterday.
Are you serious? LOL @ shots fired...
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So... Maybe the choir is not their ministry? LOL!
LOL @ revamping the circle... PWA!
Nah, they just need to be Tenors. ;D :D
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Nah, they just need to be Tenors. ;D :D
Or learn how to sing, or quit.
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When you go to a storefront church to minister with your music group, and someone gets up and preaches for over 3 hours, so you gotta contemplate if you're gonna leave and possibly look rude, or continue to spend the last part of your weekend in this church
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When you go to a storefront church to minister with your music group, and someone gets up and preaches for over 3 hours, so you gotta contemplate if you're gonna leave and possibly look rude, or continue to spend the last part of your weekend in this church
That's an easy choice... Engage baptist cloaking device... OUT!
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When you go to a storefront church to minister with your music group, and someone gets up and preaches for over 3 hours, so you gotta contemplate if you're gonna leave and possibly look rude, or continue to spend the last part of your weekend in this church
That's an easy choice... Engage baptist cloaking device... OUT!
Or you could just make your cell phone ring and rush out to answer " the call"......
Which brings us to...........
You KNOW when your at a wedding and cell phones continue to ring.......AND one person has the gumption to answer it.....while vows are being exchanged
"Naw, man I'm at a wedding......a wedding.....yeah.......in a church"
This happened Saturday ::)
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Or you could just make your cell phone ring and rush out to answer " the call"......
Which brings us to...........
You KNOW when your at a wedding and cell phones continue to ring.......AND one person has the gumption to answer it.....while vows are being exchanged
"Naw, man I'm at a wedding......a wedding.....yeah.......in a church"
This happened Saturday ::)
LOL!!!
Yo, that could go in the Awkward Moment thread.
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Or you could just make your cell phone ring and rush out to answer " the call"......
Which brings us to...........
You KNOW when your at a wedding and cell phones continue to ring.......AND one person has the gumption to answer it.....while vows are being exchanged
"Naw, man I'm at a wedding......a wedding.....yeah.......in a church"
This happened Saturday ::)
ROFL!!!
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When there's toilet tissue electric taped to the bass drum.
When there's 5 chairs, 5 drummers next to the drums waiting in line for the next song.
When the organist tries to start every song in C sharp.
When one person is shouting and another runs next to them hand on shoulder and starts shouting as well.
When at least one musician has grown dreads since Tye Tribbet became popular.
When someone's playing a tambourine that's missing everything except the wood and skin.
When you have to put a piece of paper between the organ key to make it work.
When your youth choir's first dress code was black and white.
When there was always one girl who seemed to lead every song.
When the organist throws up hand signal 5 during a shout which always leads into hand signal 2.
When a 6 minutes of a 7 minute shout is all breaks.When people say "Thank Yah for taking me over the highways and byways" during testimony service.
When you've heard the phrase "pray for me as I pray for you in these last and evil days".
What is a break?
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What is a break?
The little catchy phrases that musicians add, as opposed to the main drive of the shout.
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You KNOW when your at a wedding and cell phones continue to ring.......AND one person has the gumption to answer it.....while vows are being exchanged
"Naw, man I'm at a wedding......a wedding.....yeah.......in a church"
This happened Saturday ::)
If I was the groom and heard that going on...I woulda asked him to turn it off or leave.
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The little catchy phrases that musicians add, as opposed to the main drive of the shout.
I'm all breaks. I get bored playing the main drive, lol. I wonder if that bothers people at church...
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Thought he meant rhythm breaks - you know, stops and starts...
;)
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Thought he meant rhythm breaks - you know, stops and starts...
;)
I did too, but then when he described it, I was like, "Wait, that's me" LOL!
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I'm all breaks. I get bored playing the main drive, lol. I wonder if that bothers people at church...
I'm the opposite. I get bored with breaks. *shrugs*
Plus, at my church if you go too long with breaks, you will get some mean looks. They love the main shout.
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I'm the opposite. I get bored with breaks. *shrugs*
Plus, at my church if you go too long with breaks, you will get some mean looks. They love the main shout.
Cooper's Temple in Florida and the Temple of Praise in D.C. love those breaks....LOL!!!
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Yeah people love the breaks, especially if they can sing along. And if you come out with a new one, and the band is tight, people are gonna go crazy. lol
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a person should not pay with their credit card
debit cards are fine
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a person should not pay with their credit card
debit cards are fine
:thread reply fail:
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I'm all breaks. I get bored playing the main drive, lol. I wonder if that bothers people at church...
I love the breaks too. Plus I would think that the bass player and drummer would get tired playing a straight shout for 10 mins with no breaks.
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I love the breaks too. Plus I would think that the bass player and drummer would get tired playing a straight shout for 10 mins with no breaks.
Yes...this!!!!
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When guest musicians break down a whole set during the remarks of the program. I HATE that btw. It is kinda funny hearing the speaker raise their voice to try to drown out the noise tho lol.
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I love the breaks too. Plus I would think that the bass player and drummer would get tired playing a straight shout for 10 mins with no breaks.
I agree with that. I just have a problem with extended breaks. To me, once you go into a break, you start to lose the whole purpose of a shout break, to praise God. You can't truly do that if you so into the music. BTJM!
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when the MOM stops the choir during a concert and says "Yall know that's not what I taught yall...so we gon start this over and yall gon sing it right or else I'm going home...drummer bring me in again and not too fast"!!!
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when the MOM stops the choir during a concert and says "Yall know that's not what I taught yall...so we gon start this over and yall gon sing it right or else I'm going home...drummer bring me in again and not too fast"!!!
:o :o Been there, heard similar to that.
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When you are asked to come play while visiting a church and the drummer is a kid and you are forced and try to give him the correct beat during the song until you just eventually give up and just play
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when the musicians all leave when the preacher gets up to preach
In my case, if the pastor wasn't so boring I'd be happy to listen to his sermon. I tend to leave because I don't wear boots on Sunday lol
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In my case, if the pastor wasn't so boring I'd be happy to listen to his sermon.
OH DAAAAAAANG MAINE.
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:thread reply fail:
:D :D :D :D
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:thread reply fail:
(http://stephennewell.files.wordpress.com/2007/02/embarrassed.jpg)
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I love the breaks too. Plus I would think that the bass player and drummer would get tired playing a straight shout for 10 mins with no breaks.
Yes. Gotta give my drummer a break, or he'll get tired and start draggin' lol. He's getting pretty good, though. I love to see how much he's improved from one week to the next. He's joined the drumline in school, and you can hear the improvement. Of course now he's in that stage where he just plays random licks all the time, even when there's no music. #patiencelord
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Yes. Gotta give my drummer a break, or he'll get tired and start draggin' lol. He's getting pretty good, though. I love to see how much he's improved from one week to the next. He's joined the drumline in school, and you can hear the improvement. Of course now he's in that stage where he just plays random licks all the time, even when there's no music. #patiencelord
My drummer doesn't even know any breaks... >:( >:(
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My drummer doesn't even know any breaks... >:( >:(
LOL, I feel you. I pray your strength and his growth, lol.
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My drummer doesn't even know any breaks... >:( >:(
LOL You should hear the deacon drummer we have! We were shedding after a concert and he came over and said "let me get some" to the drummer..I was on the keyboard shaking my head (no)! But he somehow persuaded the drummer to get up.. so I went with it for like 10 secs...and he thought he had..but I couldn't take it..I just slowed down..then my husband unplugged his bass and the other keyboardist started breaking down his equipment...well within 5 mins the shed was over! LOL..we all just gradually left!!
What do you do with those drummers that just don't cut it??? LOL
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...deacon drummer
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...deacon drummer
That's exactly what our drummer is. We have a kid who is decent, but he only shows up once in a blue moon, and when he does show up he's MIA for the second half of the service, but you'll see him in the parking lot after service.
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That's exactly what our drummer is. We have a kid who is decent, but he only shows up once in a blue moon, and when he does show up he's MIA for the second half of the service, but you'll see him in the parking lot after service.
lol wow
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LOL You should hear the deacon drummer we have! We were shedding after a concert and he came over and said "let me get some" to the drummer..I was on the keyboard shaking my head (no)! But he somehow persuaded the drummer to get up.. so I went with it for like 10 secs...and he thought he had..but I couldn't take it..I just slowed down..then my husband unplugged his bass and the other keyboardist started breaking down his equipment...well within 5 mins the shed was over! LOL..we all just gradually left!!
What do you do with those drummers that just don't cut it??? LOL
I think you gotta cut them some slack. A friend of mine pastors a church and all of his sons play instruments. They are really good, but the thing that strikes me about them is that they take time out to work with anyone who wants help. There's a young man who's about 20, but he has some mental issues, but he wants to play drums so bad. Everybody kind of blows him off (even me in a nice way, I mean I encourage him, but not much more than that). These young talented musicians meet with him every week to show him stuff and work with him. I was so impressed by that.
And yes, deacon drummers are generally not that good. I think they pursued being a deacon because drumming wasn't going anywhere, LOL!
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When I became a deacon, I didn't realize it would interfere with my drumming so much. :(
At least my church likes my drumming, though. The only practice I get on a full drum-set is during church, and the odd choir/praise team practice when we learn a new song.Well, if he can keep a steady beat, at least you have that. It's better than the guy who knows breaks but can't play them, and throws everybody off.
I'm curious as to what types of breaks you guys do. anyone Can post a video with examples?
It would be nice to do be able to do simple breaks like in the video below. IN the rare event that we do shout, he starts and ends the shouts abruptly.
I guess we need to get together and practice
Praise Unleashed by Brandon Daniels (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EF6phBj-IK8#ws)
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You know when you are in a black church when a church musical turns into a Battle of the Bands!
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You know you are... when: nobody misses the guitarist.
...you end up at the back of the food line.
...the tenors drown out the rest of the singers. 8)
...there are 4 tenors, 3 sopranos, and 15 altos in the choir.
...said altos still get drowned out by the tenors.
...the organ is too loud.
...the lead singer's microphone has more overdrive than the guitar.
...the music is limited to 3-part harmony, but 90% of the tenors in the choir are basses/baritones.
...and they still drown out the rest of the singers.
Hmmm... Why did I think "Dagon" when I read this post? I wonder if there's a connection...
GUILTY
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That's an easy choice... Engage baptist cloaking device... OUT!
where can i get one?
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When people in the church form a praise break "train"!!!
Gospel Train Praise Break (It's Contagious) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pPGTAgbh_8#)
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train starts at 1:27
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When it's summer and it's hotter in the church than it is outside.
When you have to break the ground off of your good power strip because the church was wired in the late 1800's and doesn't have grounded outlets
If you've ever played the drums with a set of fan handles.
If you've ever made a kick beater out of a wire hanger, a sock, and a rubber band
When there is a set of drum sticks in the piano or organ bench.
If you've had to play for a soloist that by the end of the song had sang in all 12 keys and another 3 that aren't on the keyboard.
When the Leslie volume knob is on 10
When all the churches PA speakers are made by different companies.
When the church is using instrument cables as speaker cables.
When the music is louder than the choir.
yes, lord... are sure we dont go to the same church.... hahahah...!lol
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When somebody brings a dang jump rope and dares to use it during a praise break! *__________________*